Each week we offer headlines that appeared in the world press along with our commentary.

Sweden, The Local: “Wedding Guest Hit By Cannon”
This is one heck of a blast off for a wedding.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Forty Years of Harald And Sonja”
Sounds a lot better than eight years of George and Laura.

Finland, Sanomat: “How Far Will Russia Go?”
At least as far as Georgia.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Government Gives Aid To wheelchairs”
It would be nice if they also gave aid to the people in the wheelchairs.

Australia, Sydney Morning Post: “Veterans Won’t Have To Ask For Medals”
I assume they wish they could ask for no wounds.

Japan, Japan Times: “The Awashima Crab Murders”
Detective Ralph Whale and Detective Sarah Salmon have been assigned to the case.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Lesbians Arrested For Indecent Acts”
Horrors, they were kissing one another!

Russia, St. Petersburg Times: “Fertilizer Tax Could Rise”
My nose figured it out before my mind.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Icelandic Investors Face Rough Time”
It is hard dealing with money when it is all in frozen accounts.

China, China Daily: “Cows Could Cure Cancer”
I’ll have to moo on this one.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Ramadan Arrests”
They only take place at night.

China, Shanghai Daily: “Woman’s Hand Caught In Toilet Seeking Frog”
Mam, the story says you should look down a well for the prince who is disguised as a frog

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Saudi Women Burn Calories”
They want to be in good shape for the beheading.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Police Can’t Afford Cop Jobs”
I believe there are some openings with the local gangs.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Charities Watched”
We certainly don’t want them going around spending money on the poor.

Sweden, The Local: “Prison For Nonconsensual Sex”
What does one get for consensual sex?