HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each week we offer a review of headlines from the world press along with our comments.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Unemployed Urged To Get Fit”
A little hunger makes one lean and fit.

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “Loose Screws Not Enough To Keep Planes Grounded”
I have a hunch planes that go up with loose screws come down with no screws.

Sweden, The Local: “Pastor on Probation For Sex With Grieving Mother”
He just wanted to give her some warmth.

UAR, Khaleej Times: “Fines For Failure To Register For ID Card”
It’s simple, if you want an ID card just show your ID card.

Australia, The Age: “Nude Vaulter Seeks Sponsors”
Not from clothing manufacturers, I imagine.

Qatar, Arab Times: “Protests Against Banks-Abolish Banks”
I think I’ll cash in on this one.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Kuwait Police Won’t Salute Female Officers”
At least they don’t flog them!

Ukraine, Kyiv Post: “Kyiv Mayor Takes Vacation”
I could mention a few other politicians who should take a vacation.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Reputed Crime Boss On Trial”
If he really is a crime boss, he will not be on trial.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “US Woman Turn To Porn”
After getting fucked by Wall Street, porn looks good.

Indonesia, Indonesian Echo: “Animals Get Checkup At Hospital”
Do they have health insurance?

Uganda, Daily Monitor: “No Past, No Present, No Future”
The story of America today.

Nigeria, Daily Trust: “Arrest School Children At School Hours”
That’s one way to deal with kids who don’t do their homework.

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “Sultan Turns Off Lights At Palace”
Whew, that makes me feel real better about the economic situation.

Japan, Japan Times: “Women Know Your Place”
In in Saudi Arabia, it is behind the man.

Hungary, Budapest Times: “Wolves Found In Budapest”
Oh, so that’s where the Wall Street wolves went!

South Africa, The Argus: “Baboons Assault Cars”
At least the Wall Street Baboons are not assaulting people.

Australia, The Age: “Men Put Women Off On Sex”
Are you sure it is not the other way around?