Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Independent:  “Lap Dancers Win Ruling”

They can sit in at least three laps.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times:  “Drunk Man Held”

I guess he wasn’t drunk enough to let free.

France, Connexion:  “Check Is On The Way”

If issued by the US House of Representatives it is headed for a wealthy address.

China, China Daily:  “9 Years For Desperate Housewives Pirating”

If a pirate grabs anyone from Desperate Housewives, he sure is desperate.

Sweden, Local:  “Comedian Attacked By Satanists”

Sorry, the humor night club is upstairs, not down stairs.

USA, aol.com: “Allen West Endorses Joe The Plumber”

Just another washout for the man lacking a brain.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  “Cross In Right Hand”

If the cross is in the right hands, it needs to get over to the lefties.

Singapore, Straits Times:  “Bear Wanders On US Campus”

If it was the University of Phoenix, the bear is now taking course, courtesy of US government loans,.