NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

Each week, we offer the observations of a 77 year old American on his nation and the world. Nothing in these comments is to be construed as factual.

Nobody Asked Me But,

America made a terrible mistake by abandoning the trolley car. France is currently developing a new generation of trolleys that are providing comfortable rides in several cities.

Nelson Mandela is celebrating his 90th birthday. It must be painful for this gallant fighter for freedom to witness his own nation’s leaders abandoning the people of Zimbabwe to a cruel dictator.

Monday is free coffee at the McDonalds where I live. Who says McDonalds is not concerned with people. Just check out the high wages they pay to their employees. Anyway, they do give free coffee to old farts like me.

I wonder if people who report on the weather on TV have the slightest knowledge about weather other than what they read on the tele-prompter.

Obama is in Afghanistan.Bush is in the White House, John McCain is at the Yankee stadium. I prefer altering these people and locations.

The real poverty in this country is in rural America where people are trapped miles away from where they work and forced to use gas guzzling old cars.

Rudy Giuliani’s son is suing Duke University for throwing him off the golf team. If I was Andrew Giuliani, I would go to downtown Raleigh and take care of any weegee men who are wiping the dirt off car windows for a few nickels. He can, like his father, then portray himself as a good old American boy hero.

Every time I observe four people talking one is always quiet and nods a head. Why?

After reading MySpace tirades against Israel for every crime known to humanity, one wonders who they would blame if that nation disappeared. The Catholic Church? The Masons?

I wonder if stocks will rise on my day of death, after all they went down on the day of my birth in 1930.

I refuse turning on air conditioning in my car or house. My genes date back to Biblical origin. No fans blew to help my ancestors when they build pyramids or wandered the desert so why should I begin now.

I always sink to my knees when speaking to a child. to hover is to be discourteous.

America should switch to the four day work week to deal with gas prices.

Russia mistreated my father and my grandfather but I have a passionate love of the Russian people.

Police were handing out tickets this weekend. It is getting close to the end of the month and the quota must be met for speeding tickets.

Thee ought to be a law if you make a right turn on a red light, you must immediately encounter a green light.

A man walked by me laughing. I wish I lived in a society where it was OK to stop such a person and inquire as to the cause of their laughter. I could learn some good jokes.

I learned to drive in my twenties. That is the reason I still struggle to back into a parking spot.

There is an upscale mall in St. Louis named Plaza Frontenac. They check your clothes when you enter to see if you have the proper attire to wander their sacred halls and purchase their over-priced materials.

My book was overdue at the Washington University library. I confessed my sin to the girl and she forgave my trespasses and said she would waive the twenty cent fine. I felt so relieved.

I always take from the dish by the cash register which has pennies. In fact, I plan my purchase so I could make use of free pennies. I am a sick remnant of the Depression.

A “red light” day for me is when I never cease encountering red lights.

My greatest vice in life is suffering fools poorly.

I can never figure out why young boys turn their caps backward. They are making a statement, but its import escapes me.

Toronto set a new record for rain. St. Louis just set a new record for rain. But, some “scientists” insist there is no global warming. The only alternative explanation that makes sense is God has bladder problems.

My love affair with umbrellas rarely lasts beyond three rains. By that point my umbrella ceases to work.

I uphold the principle that one goes to the restroom before or after a movie, but never during a movie.

Two people really love one another when they exchange morsels of food.

Some day a genius will invent a car seat that allows you to slide out rather than stand up to get out.

Short pants on a girl in the summer are definitely not a sensual statement.

I often wonder if my cro-Magnon ancestors had standards regarding beauty. I wonder what they were.

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  • http://www.theimpudentobserver.com Fred Stopsky

    What the heck does McDonalds have to do with trolleys? Their hamburgers are bad enough as it is.