NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

Each week, we offer the ruminations of a 78 year old man who is trapped in the mind of a 12 year old boy.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

I saw sign that said: “Wellness Chiropractor.” Is this the opposite of an “Unwellness Chiropractor?”

They are tearing down Yankee Stadium in order to build Yankee Stadium. Only in America.

Men who walk briskly in the street with a backpack invariably have determined looks on their faces.

I daily receive comments on the MySpace blog I have from people declaring America is a dictatorship in which there is no freedom of speech. This statement being made on a site which contains a possible 230,000,000 readers. What do they think happens in dictatorships?

John McCain continually attacks the record of John McCain. This is called a “winning strategy”–it is not a tactic.

It always amazes me how leaving one’s house fifteen minutes later allows escaping traffic jams. I hope the rest of humankind doesn’t figure this out.

My sick mind evaluates a college by the number of attractive women it has.

I am a big stride person. Small stride people come across as tentative.

I hope to God Sarah Palin never gazes across the horizon to see an atomic plant. She will then consider herself qualified to conduct nuclear tests–on other nations, that is.

I drove by a high school as all students were leaving at 1:00 p.m. Is this the result of bored students or tired teachers?

Once each six months I eat an Arby roast beef sandwich. Just six more months to go for another one.

I never feel safe if security people are over weight.

I invariably get off the exit from a highway just in time to catch the red light. This skill requires practice.

I heard that gambling revenue is down at casinos. I guess after people gambled on buying a house, they decided to avoid gambling on anything else.

I am furious at companies that send you next year’s date book because you bought one from them last year and forgot to read the tiny print which says buy in one year and receive one forever.

I have never purchased a large soda. After a few sips, my thirst is gone. That is one talent I developed in the army while on long marches.

I have not heard anyone in a year mention a bowling score. Do people still bowl?

Boys who wear pulled down hats are making a statement. One day I will figure it out.

I still fear automatic doors. I was educated to open a door, not have the door open itself.

I have no doubt by 2050 people will assume a different color body each day.

At age 78, I still feel awkward going to a meeting where I don’t know anyone.

Shyness is God’s gift to happiness or punishment for being alive.

The manager of my apartment complex left a candy bar on the knob of my door. How sweet.

After listening to John McCain ramble on about his trips, I guess people who go on an around the world voyage should be nominated for president in 2012.

A woman stopped me while I was walking and told me a woeful story about poverty and loneliness. I find myself baffled as how to handle such situations.

I never leave a meeting until at least one person has left.

It is September and I am in St. Louis. Achoo, the allergy season has begun.

I saw a group of college students sitting on the grass and one played a guitar. The 1960s was again alive.

I went into a Student Center but there were no comfortable chairs. Not very community centered in my view.

I have never had the inclination for a beard. I wonder why men wear them.