Sarah Palin Will Not Speak At Convention

The upcoming Republican convention will not witness an appearance by the Big Mama,Sarah Palin. We assume that Mitt reflected on the past few months during which he had to confront Herman and Rick and Ron and Michele and Newt, an enterprise which would make any sensible person desire a vacation from nut cases. However, refusing to allow  Her Highness, Sarah Palin, Mistress of the Forest and beloved by those who want a president capable of shooting a  bear to feel neglected.

Informed sources informed this reporter that the real reason Mitt did not want Sarah on the same platform with him is fear she would receive a louder ovation from the audience. If Mitt were smart, he would allow Herman Cain to speak, then the governor of Texas, followed by Newt. Then, when Mitt appears the audience would rise to its feet in hope they would not have to hear the village idiots speaking anymore.

Anyway, the bears are not happy. They thought Sarah would be far away in Florida.