Vladimir Gets Divorce

We wish to be among the first to offer our good will and love for our Beloved Leader, Vladimir Putin on the announcement that he is divorcing a wife of 30 years. Her name is Lyudima Putine, which suggests that she is connected with Putin and desires to always be connected to the man whose bare chest barely describes his power and strength to handle any and all confrontations with tigers, elephants or Barack Obama his spear chucking African followers. Last year when Putin and Putine held a TV press conference to announce they would soon be divorcing, some reporters had the nerve to pose a few questions, and within a month or so, their newspapers closed under some unusual circumstances. As I recall, Vladimir told them to “snotty noses out of his life.”

When Vladimir tells you to bug off, get the hell out of town before you wind up in the tower of London awaiting a hanging. I hesitate to pose a question about some gorgeous young athlete has her name linked to the Beloved Leader. Look, if you are a Beloved Leader, it only stands to reason there are many females seeking to carry the name of Putine!