Smell of Popcorn Tastes Better Than When Eaten

Nothing is more romantic than an elderly pot bellied man holding hands with a gray haired woman.

People always appear happy when they enter a movie theater.

There is something scary about a deserted mall.

I’ll give a prize to anyone who can explain Mitt Romney’s political ideas. I’d triple the prize if he could do it.

I become furious seeing grossly over weight children.

Do you get a moment of fear seeing a wide open door of the rest room and no one inside?

Men fell proud if they can gaze down and see the penis without flesh getting in the way.

I have never seen a motorcycle group that did not contain at least one man wearing a white moustache.

I know I’m in the Midwest and not on Long Island when I drive by places selling fireworks for the 4th of July.

There is something incredibly peaceful about a rural church on Sunday morning when people are chatting and shaking hands.

If you go through chemo for cancer, eat Charleston Chews and drink lime flavored Coke after the session.

Republicans have reached a new moral low by opposing lowering of flags when a soldier dies because they claim it sends a political message. Of course, since only cowards serve in the Bush Cabinet, why should it be surprising they will not honor those who have fallen in combat for their country.

I more often see two women walking into a movie theater than two men.

Why can’t women keep change in their pockets? I was behind a woman who went through five separate actions in order to collect her change.

Is Don Rumsfeld still alive? I often wonder what he does to pass away the hours. Maybe, he watches reruns of American troops entering Baghdad.

So, Paris Hilton is upset she had to undress in front of other people. Does this mean Paris Hilton never undressed before a man? So, my suspicion was correct that she was a secret virgin.