Hair Endorses Big Mouth For President

After extensive research into the backgrounds of Republican candidates for president, Donald Trump has concluded to endorse the man who most resembles his values and mouth. Donald was concerned that Mitt’s father was born in Mexico which raises Constitutional issues concerning whether or not Mitt is really a true red white and blue American. Donald believes we already have a foreigner in the White House so it is clear the next president must be 100% American.

Donald carefully combed his gorgeous hair and is ready to anoint Newt as the one who is not fired by the boss because  he is a boss man at heart. There is scant question that this endorsement guarantees Newt will garner the egotist vote in America.