Tag Archives: Berlusconi

Pass For No Jail, Be In Italian Government

It has been claimed that no person who had a million dollars was ever executed for murder. The old adage that businessmen have one law for themselves and another for the rest of humanity. Italy is an example of a nation in which if you possess billions, then go right ahead and steal, ignore the law and proceed with life on your own terms. Silvion Berlusoni is not only the richest man in Italy, he is also its prime minister. He recently appointed one of his stooges, Aldo Brancher to the post of Minister for Federalism and within days Mr. Brancher invoked the “legitimate impediment” law which will allow the prime minister to refuse attending court to deal with charges of banking fraud and laundering of money. According to the law, Berlusconi can assert he is too busy running the government of Italy to bother with such minor issues as to whether he did or did not break a law. As one Italian politician noted: “there are two ways to escape justice in Italy; either become a fugitive or win a seat in the Berlusconi government.”

The sad aspect of this story is behavior of the people of Italy who sanction such men running their government.

Berlusconi Sends Love To One And All

There are politicians who boast of loving “the people” but there are none who can compete with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who writes love songs and even sings them in order for the people to understand his love for them. Of course, when it comes to love, the prime minister is a man of democracy. He loves one and all, fat and tall, young and old, and those without any sexual preference other than a desire for making money. His new album will shortly be out and it will reflect the boundless depth of a man who beds women without regard to height, weight, color of skin or nationality.

Among songs in his new album is, “Stay With Me.” Of course, that is not dedicated to his wife who has gone to explore greener passages. The problem is when Silvio urges a woman to “stay with him” it makes no sense since he enjoys variety over staying with anyone till death do us part. We are certain Italian women will understand when he sings, “This Is Love, I Love You,” it doesn’t mean them. It does mean he loves the young and beautiful.

Did Silvio Get Attacked?

We would like you to imagine a meeting that never took place, but, then again, even the most improbable meetings can actually take place. In this meeting, the prime minister of Italy is attempting to figure out a way of restoring his public image after several months of non-stop stories and pictures of him in association with young ladies.

N Boss, we have to do something to get your image back on the front pages of your own newspapers in which there is no accompanying photo of a busty woman.
S I agree, we have to do something. Any suggestions?
B Well, boss, I have been thinking about this problem. If we could only have you come across as a guy who needs sympathy.
N How about we arrange that you dive into pool and save a little girl? That should get sympathy.
B No, we don’t want any stories with the Boss and little girls. Just imagine, some newspaper in Spain will try proving he had seduced the little girl, thrown her into the pool and then decided he had gone too far.
F Look, I’m just a visitor from a Newark, New Jersey newspaper, but you guys got it wrong. You want the Boss to be an object of sympathy because someone attacked a defenseless old man.
S I like your idea. Give us more.
F I can arrange with some friends back in Jersey that we get some screwball to attack you by surprise. No one likes people getting hit by surprise. You will become the object of great sympathy.
S I like it. Let’s get this rolling.

Youtube films now show the prime minster immediately after the alleged attack by a supposed “deranged” man covering part of his lower face with a black plastic bag and keeping it there. No blood is shown. Later, when he emerges from the car a few minutes later with a bloody face a deep wound beneath his eye appears which is not seen in the original photo.

You figure it out.

A Punch In Mouth Restores Berlusconi Popularity

Silvio Berlusconi has the ability of convincing Italians that he cares about their health and security even more than his own self interests. Oh, along the way, he might have some interesting encounters with attractive women, but for many Italians, their prime minister is merely administering to the needs of females by allowing them to satisfy their lust for publicity. Several days ago, a demented man punched Berlusconi in the mouth and broke one of his teeth. We trust it is not a tooth that is used in kissing. Since the attack, the prime ministers rating has risen three percentage points. When asked, 48% of Italians “trust him a lot.” Of course, there is no specification as to what they trust him to do– seduce women?

Perhaps, Tiger Woods might learn something about regaining the trust of people by studying the sexual antics of Berlusconi. First, always be seen in the company of a young attractive woman while proclaiming your love for your wife. Second, spend a day or night with a young woman and chalk it up to attending a rather lengthy birthday party. Tiger, do you know anyone who might do you a favor by punching your mouth? It is a guarantee of media concern for your health.

Confessions Of A Berlusconi Addict!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is angry because he was assaulted an injured by an assailant who for some strange reason does not like him or view the Italian leader in a favorable light. His supporters in the media-much of which he owns, blame “leftists” for spreading evil stories about the wonderful leader of the county. Of course, at a political rally that preceded the attack, Berlusconi ranted and raved about his opponents for spreading terrible stories regarding women of the night and his involvement or non-involvement with those creatures of the night. It becomes somewhat confusing when a man with a billion dollars uses his money to rip into anyone who opposes him and then mournfully claims to be a victim. Reports indicate prior to the speech, Berlusconi asked his associates, “do you feel the climate of violence, the climate of hatred?”

I really don’t know how one identifies a climate of hatred when the person who is the object controls numerous newspapers and television stations. I suspect there are many Italian politicians who have endured a climate of hatred from the Berlusconi media. Oh, if we introduce some women, then, … the climate will not be about hatred, but about money.

The Great Man Named Silvio Berlsconi!

There are many great leaders in the world who lead powerful nations, but when it comes to displaying masculine skills of love and passion, none can compare to the prime minister of Italy. When he wants to hold to a firm stand, his natural attributes stand out and up. Patrizia D’Addarrio, an Italian prostitute recounts the many hours she spent with Berlusconi in which his passion, his kisses, his love of the body and his infinite capacity to keep on coming resulted in total exhaustion for a woman who knows something about love making. “We kissed an infinite number of times, with him above all kissing my intimate parts,” a performance which she believes “could get into the Guinness Book of Records.” She noted being years younger than the aged prime minister, but “there were moments when I feared I would not stand up to his assaults. Does he take something?”

Of course, he does. Silvio is a man of passion and a man of action. When he sets his body to achieve a high point of passion, there is no other leader in the world who can match that performance. Some political leaders boast of being able to negotiate for hours at a time, but which of them can keep it up for hours at a time! God bless you Silvio, yo are a hero to all of we men over the age of sixty.

Trials And Tribulations Of Silvio Berlusconi

I realize there are people in the world who do not appreciate the problems of having a billion dollars or so, but just ask poor Silvio Berlusconi, who is not only prime minister of Italy, but he also presides over a fortune worth more than one billion dollars. Silvio enjoys the company of attractive women and one of them, Patrizia D’Addario, is going to appear in a new movie entitled “the Girls of Palazzo Graziloli” which allegedly depicts her romantic fling with the nice prime minister. The film will be narrated by a transsexual which only adds another slight problem for the poor man who enjoys nights out with women. Oh, I guess he does or did have a wife, but this is Italy and the boys with dough have every right to have a few nights to themselves with some ladies of the night. Of course, when using the expression, “ladies of the night” we do not mean to imply they were professional ladies of the night.

Silvio is entitled to have some privacy even if he has a few billion of so lying around. Why can’t he make out with the ladies without everyone giving him a hard time. I wonder, does he have nights out with men of the night? Just asking.

MISTAKEN JOBS FOR SOME PEOPLE

Following are jobs some people should never undertake.

GEORGE BUSH Teaching people to have better memories.

MICHELE BACHMAN Professor of Constitutional law.

GORDON BROWN Writing the history of the Iraq War.

PRIME MINISTER BERLUSCONI Running a male model agency.

JON STEWART Republican party spokesman for the media.

OSAMA BIN LADEN Rice farming in Bangladesh.

BENJAMIN NETANYAHU Studying the art of compromise.

LARRY SUMMERS Poker player in a casino.

If You Can’t Beat Them, Silence Them!

Silvio Berlusconi is under attack for his alleged philandering with women of the night, charges of corruption, and sundry other claims about a man who not only has a few billion in the bank, but possesses numerous TV stations and newspapers. OK, so he controls a good hunk of Italy’s media, but he has yet to gain control over media in other parts of the world. The prime minister has established a task force whose job is to monitor the world’s airwaves and news-stands and every time they encounter a negative story about Silvio, they are to respond with news concerning his wonderful qualities such as being an equal opportunity seeker after women from all nations.

Tourism Minister, Michela Brambilia said the first job of the task force will be to “monitor all the foreign press, including dailies, periodicals and TV in every latitude.” The second task will be to “bombard those newsrooms with truthful and positive news.”

I am receptive to positive news, and it might begin by identifying ways that you people could make my life happier.

Viva L’Italia, Viva Berlusconi, Viva Truth!

Silvio Berlusconi is a fighter, particularly when anyone or any government institution refuses to accept the fact he is the nation’s wealthiest man and thus entitled to do as he damn well pleases. The 9-6 verdict by the Italian Constitutional Court which over-turned the immunity granted the prime minister for any criminal charges has infuriated Silvio. “We have to govern for five years with or without the law… these things just wind me up. we move on, move forward.” Although his popularity has dropped from 63% to just below 50% in light of recent sex scandals, Silvio is happy and ready to take on all comers.

Berlusconi now is subject to being indicted and tried for three cases including allegations o tax fraud. But, he might just as well call a snap election to let the Constitutional Court he has the support of the Italian people and they can go to hell. Tune in for the latest episode in the life of Silvio Berlusconi