Tag Archives: Berlusconi

SUE ME TOO!

Stories are circulating all over the Internet about the alleged sex parties held by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, but it is extremely difficult to find such stories in leading Italian newspapers due to fear that Italian billionaire will institute legal action against anyone who dares challenges his sexual virginity. Those who know Mr. Berlusconi are confident once the truth is out, the world will know that he is a virgin and never consorts with women, let alone prostitutes. However, over 300,000 Italians disagreed with this view and marched through the streets of Rome wearing T-shirts that said: SUE ME TOO. Silvio owns three of Italy’s seven free TV channels and has control over newspapers and magazines.

I guess we are left to choose between two stories about the man. There are rumors that he has held parties at which prostitutes were present, and there are stories that he abstains from sex except with one of his wives and there are stories the man is just a virgin. Choose which one you desire and hopefully, you will not be sued.

Berlusconi- I Decide Who Speaks!

Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy not only has a Napoleonic complex, but he makes Roman emperors come across as democratic leaders. The Italian public television service had the audacity to broadcast an interview with a woman who allegedly spent the night with the nation’s leader. Patricia D’Addario made an appearance last Thursday night and her interview drew about 5.6 million viewers. Berlusconi denies ever paying for sex, but the unknown word is what is meant by “paying.”

On Sunday, Berlusconi’s brother, Paolo, began a front page campaign in his newspaper, Il Giornale that urged the public not to pay the TV license fee in protest against allowing anti-Berlusconi comments to appear. According to Paolo, “if RAI is a public service it should be at the service of the public that pays the license fee and not at the service of haughty preachers whose toxic stump speeches twist information.”

Silvio recently made insulting remarks about President Obama, but apparently those comments are no subject to review. The real question is when will the people of Italy elect a person to lead their nation who believes in democracy.

Roaming Eyes Of PM Berlusconi On Michelle!

Prime Minister Silvio Belusconi is in deep trouble over reports he had prostitutes to his home and has been allegedly having affairs with young girls. His wife has grown weary of his roving eyes, and now President Obama can join those who really get bored by the Italian’s approach to diplomacy. The Italian prime minster told a Milan rally, that he was bringing greetings from the United States from, “what’s his name?Some tanned guy. Ah, Barack Obama.” He also took a jab at the First Lady with “you won’t believe it, but two of them sent to the beach because the wife is also tanned.”

The European media reported during the recent G-20 summit, Michelle Obama greeted many leaders with a kiss, but when Berlusconi showed up, he got a handshake. The media also noted the Italian Casanova spent his time gazing at the body of Mrs. Obama.

Take away this man’s money and what do you have– an old man who drools with envy at beauty that he can never have.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Swaziland, Swaziland Observer: “Stop Interfering In Our Politics”
All too often the politics of others interferes in my politics.

Portugal, Portugal News: “New Dog Safety Rules”
All humans will have to wear muzzles when in presence of a dog.

UK, The Independent: “Love For Dentist’s Son”
I’ll bite on this story.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post; “Rich Get Richer”
In America, the poor get poorer.

Australia, Brisbane Times: ‘Looking For Love Later In Life?”
Just contact this 79 year old man.

Finland, Sanomat: “Viruses Prefer Winter”
Good, then head north to Alaska.

South Africa, Argus: “How About Some Common Sense”
Number one need of the Republican Party.

Sweden, The Local: “Peeing In Water Increases Asthma”
It also increases my desire not to drink the water.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: ‘I Love Beautiful Women-Berlusconi”
I have a hunch they love your money.

MISTAKEN HOBBIES

Following are hobbies that certain people should avoid at all costs.

CHANCELLOR MERKEL Fashion Designer

OSAMA BIN LADEN Studying Torah

MARK SANFORD Samba Instructor

SILVIO BERLUSCONI Collecting dating strategies

BRITNEY SPEARS Singing

ROGER FEDERER Racquet ball

PRESIDENT MUBARAK Starring in Musical, The King And I

SARAH PALIN Studying constitutional law

Sex Vs The Church-Who Blinks First?

In the world of Silvio Berlusconi, the only proper material to print about him deals with his love of the Italian people and the Catholic Church. However, when the editor of Italy’s main Catholic newspaper expressed misgivings about the prime minister’s alleged escapades with scantily clad women, the man who places his love of himself as a virtuous individual blew his stack. One of his newspapers branded the author of the story, Dino Boffo, to be a homosexual who was facing a law suit by the man he allegedly was in love with. Boffo, editor of the powerful “Avvenire,” newspaper of the Italian Bishops’ Conference, resigned under the brutal attack from the Berlusconi media empire.

Silvio’s strategy has always been to attack, not to defend. He currently is launching legal action against several European publications in order to silence their criticism of his behavior. There is now evidence of a growing breach between the Vatican and Berlusconi.

Frankly, we are not that concerned about what the Vatican or Berlusconi claim. We would like to hear from the scantily clad women what actually happened during their encounters with the he man of Italy.

Berlusconi–A Man For One World-His!

The average man who philanders devotes considerable time and effort to disguising his activities, but when your name is Berlusconi, the real object is not so much to hide your actions, but to create a situation in which no actions ever occurred. However, despite his vast control over Italian media, the rich politician occasionally encounters embarrassing situations. Part of his problem is an inability to control the world outside of Italy. The French newspaper, Nouvel Observateur recently printed a story, “Sex, Power, and Lies” which may refer to the man from Italy. Of course, his life was not made any happier when the Spanish, El Pais, printed photographs of the great men and half clad women.

In fairness, the world should establish some “Berlusconi Rules.” Number one rule is nothing should be printed or shown which does not have the Berlusconi permission. Rule Two is any photo of a scantily clad lady with the Big Man should have air brushed into it proper attire for women.

On the other hand, why doesn’t Italy have a large curtain over the entire nation which blocks out bad images of its ruler?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

South Africa, Argus: “Someone Has To Go To Jail”
We can begin with George Bush and work our way down.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Greek Cypriots Tired Of Endless Talks”
“Turkish Cypriots Complain About Greek Harassment”
Take your pick.

Pakistan, Daily Times: “Another Blasphemy Case”
I could say something blasphemous about this but will keep quiet.

USA, New York Daily News: “Sotomayor Approved As US Supreme
Court Justice”
Well, there goes those Hispanics taking jobs away from white men.

Sweden, The Local: “Doctors Miss Fist Sized Tumor”
Heck, doctors just make mistakes unlike police who are never wrong.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Saudi Pay Stiff Price For Sex Toy”
I assume he will now speak in a high voice.

UK, The Independent: “Retired Police Dogs Get Pensions”
All the dog biscuits they can eat.

South Africa, Argus: “Seeing Things Differently”
Now, that we know there never were WMD will Rush Limbaugh admit he was wrong?

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Berlusconi Daughter Says Politicians Must Be Moral”
I wonder what George Bush’s daughters say about politicians being moral.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Danish People’s Party Ready To Rule”
Over whom–humans?

Greece, Kathimerini: “Postman Robbed”
If only we had the pony express.

Big Mouth Berlusconi Meets Small Mouth Netanyahu

Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met his fellow pompous prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi in order that their combined brains could discover solutions to the Middle East Crisis. Berlusconi warmly endorsed the Netanyahu idea that a future Palestinian state must be demilitarized, but somewhat confused his friend by also urging an end to building settlements on the West Bank. The Italian leader did not express any new idea other than ones being urged by President Obama that Israel must end building of new settlements which are regarded as an obstacle to peace.

Benjamin Netanyahu still does not get the message– George Bush no longer is in power and most American Jews support peace in the Middle East as expressed by President Obama. Benjamin, George will not come running to your rescue. Heck, you can’t even get a blockhead like Berlusconi to support your weird ideas about peace in the Middle East.

Silvio Berlusconi– PM With Golden Touch And Caress

Silvio Berlusconi has vast wealth and a media empire which protects him against being attacked by opponents, but for some reason, the man with the golden touch just can not resist the touch of an attractive woman. Italian prosecutors are investigating a health kickback scandal which apparently is connected to lavish parties thrown at the home of Berlusconi. Patrizia D’Addario, claims to possess audio and visual records of her attendance at parties in which she was paid to be present. She was sent to the parties in order to assist two brothers gain important health care contracts from the government. Ms. D’Addario insists she was told by Prime Minister Berlusconi that he would help her and he was “a man of his word.”

One would believe a man with his wealth would not have to pay women to attend his parties, but this is Italy and Berlusconi is a man who can’t resist the touch of a woman. The question now is could he resist the touch of a man anxious for a contract?