Tag Archives: dobbs

COMMENTS NEVER SPOKEN BUT THOUGHT

Following are comments that were thought but never expressed by these individuals.

RUSH LIMBAUGH When I was a little fat boy I got bullied. Now, I’m a fat man who is getting even by bullying one and all.

HEDGE FUND MANAGER I defend my right to never hedge on making a million for myself. As for my clients, I’ll hedge on that one!

OBAMA SUPPORTER I love that guy. It’s his policies that bother me.

CREDIT CARD COMPANY If we make a mistake, we only up your percent by 5%, but if you make a mistake, we up it 25%.

GEORGE BUSH Dick Cheney? Yeah, I once knew a guy with that name. Is he still alive?

WEATHERMAN I pray every night for a rainstorm just as I get on camera.

GENERAL MCCHRYSTAL Give me 40,000 more men in Afghanistan and I promise that I will only ask for 25,000 later this year.

JUSTICE SCALIA A literal reading of the Constitution is when I interpret it.

HILLARY CLINTON These days I sometimes wish for the good old days when Monica was in the headlines and life was simpler.

TOM HANKS OK, it’s nonsense, but for twenty million dollars I’d spend time in Hades with the Devil.

DAVID LETTERMAN If only someone else had done what I did, I’d have enough material for a month,

LOU DOBBS If we got rid of the illegal immigrants, I’d be glad to mow your lawn.

Where Does God Stand On Current Issues?

It is difficult these days tuning into the media without encountering yelling individuals who claim to speak for God and are more than happy to inform the world about God’s views on a variety of issues confronting humanity. For example, members of the extremist Westboro Baptist Church who are openly anti-gay recently protested in front of Jewish institutions in New York with signs that read, “God Hates Jews” and “God Hates Obama.” Several Jewish groups urged members to politely walk past the signs and pickets of the Westboro Church people and pretend they do not exist. After all, argue these individuals, even kooks have the right of free speech.

However, no one has yet answered the question as to where does God stand on issues like health care. If I take Glenn Beck or Lou Dobbs as authorities on the God view, the old man up in the sky is mighty angry at that black man in the White House who wants to restore Nazi death camps and kill the unborn. Sometimes, I get confused. If Obama wants to institute Nazism in America how come he gets the high percentage of Jewish voters?

I decided in the spirit of fair play to make direct contact with God. First, let’s clear things up, He is not in the sky but on the planet of Xul. He told me after listening to the inarticulate rambling voices of people shouting hate toward blacks, doctors, congressmen, and praise for health insurance firms, He thought He might delay a return trip to planet Earth. According to the Old Man, planet Earth is the only one He has encountered where people want to protect the powerful and wealthy and denounce the poor. “For God’s sake, He told me, why the Hell do you think I sent my Son to Earth, to take care of wealthy insurance executives!!”

In the spirit of respect for individuals like Rush, Bill, Lou, Ann, Glenn and the others voices of hate, I will not reveal the exact words of the Old Man about them.

Americans Display Stupidity On Gates Incident

Ah, the great American debate on racism continues with latest poll results indicating 41 percent of the nation disapprove of the president’s handling of the situation while 29 percent approve. Yes, this is an important milestone in race relations in this country. Sgt. Crowley has encountered hundreds of situations in which people raised their voices to him, and no arrest was made, but for some reason he decided a 58 year-old man weighing about 150 pounds who teaches at Harvard represented a “threat” requiring back up support! Give me a break. Sgt. Crowley over-reacted, made a mistake, and refuses to acknowledge his error. Perhaps, from now on Sgt. Crowley will arrest every 150 pound elderly man who raises his voice, but I doubt if that will ever happen.

America, get your head on straight. There are about 700,000 people in jail for drug offenses, and a high percentage of those individuals are of African American and Hispanic backgrounds. This is the face of REAL RACISM, but for some reason it does not register on the typical American’s anger level. Black and Hispanic individuals are halted at a much higher percentage than whites, that is racism. Live like an African American for a week and see if you don’t come away with a new recognition that racism exists in this nation.

Does what I write suggest there has not been dramatic progress on race issues? Of course, there has been a virtual revolution, but the voyage has begun, not concluded.

P.S. I suspect many who are upset at the word “stupid” do not become upset at the rantings of hate expressed every night by Lou Dobbs, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly. I wonder why.