Tag Archives: Glenn Beck

IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN

Following are events that never will happen.

The New York Knicks will win an NBA championship.

The UN will have sufficient military power to crush tyrants.

Michelle Obama will go through a day without stooping.

Larry Summers will listen to a new economic idea with an open mind.

Rudy Giuliani will eat a piece of humble pie.

An episode of Law and Order will portray the team making more than one mistake.

Dick Cheney will reveal he cares about ordinary people rather than just wealthy ones.

Barack Obama will get through a day without appearing on a TV show.

George Bush will reveal where he hid the WMD.

Glenn Beck will actually make an intelligent remark supported by factual data.

PLACES I DO NOT WISH TO BE IN!

Following are some places I hope never to visit.

GLENN BECK’S MIND: I do not wish to be in it when it swings into action with the latest crazy thought it has been contemplating.

IN SOMALIA — No way any part of it!

IN THE CONGO — No way any part of it.

IN A JEWISH SYNAGOGUE IN YEMEN

AT A MEETING BETWEEN SARAH PALIN AND HER DAUGHTER IN WHICH SHE DISCUSSES DEALING WITH SEX BY JUST SAYING “NO.”

IN THE NEW YORK STATE LEGISLATURE AS THEY DISCUSS THE IMPORTANCE OF ESTABLISHING AN ETHICS COMMITTEE TO EXAMINE THEIR BEHAVIOR.

AT THE MEETING BETWEEN ARNOLD SCHWZARZENEGGER AND HIS WIFE IN WHICH HE EXPLAINS WHY HE WANTED TO ENTER POLITICS.

WITH REAL ESTATE AGENTS TRYING TO SELL HOUSES AND LEASE VACANT OFFICE SPACE.

AT AN NRA MEETING CALLED TO DISCUSS WHY COLLEGE STUDENTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO BRING GUNS TO CLASSES.

WATCHING RUSH MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN TO SEE IF HE IS AS INEPT MAKING IT WITH A WOMAN AS HE IS WITH FUCKING THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

Right Jobs For People

Following are jobs that would fit the personality of some people.

RUDY GIULIANI: Pope

BLACKWATER GUARD: Terrorist.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: Garbage collector.

COLLEGE PROFESSOR: Used car salesman.

KEY MAKER: Safecracker.

JOHN MCCAIN: Head of Annapolis.

HANNAH MONTANA: Two headed woman in a circus.

CIGARETTE SHOP OWNER: Owner of a Mortuary.

IRS AGENT: Priest.

GLENN BECK: Delivers manure to farms.