Tag Archives: grassley

RIGHT JOBS FOR RIGHT PEOPLE

Following are the right jobs for certain people.

RABBI Head of Wikipedia

GLENN BECK Delivering manure to farmers.

BANK TELLER Dispensing coins at a Casino.

MATTRESS SHOP OWNER Selling trampolines.

NANCY PEOLOSI Head of Goldman Sachs

TELEMARKETERS Used car salesmen.

BILLY GATES College professor.

DON RUMSFELD Greeter at Walmart

BIKER Bumper car attendant

SENATOR GRASSLEY Throwing knives at Women

COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR PUBLICLY

Following are remarks thought in private and never publicly shared.

MICHAEL VICK: From now on, cat fights, and for me that’s with a woman.

ARNOLD SCHARZENEGGER: Just think, in one year, I will be back to being the Terminator. If I could only terminate the California legislature.

COLIN POWELL: I just can’t believe I served with these creatures. They couldn’t even match the ability of the lowest private in the army.

NY STATE LEGISLATOR: You mean being elected to the legislature, does not entitle me to take bribes! Why for God’s sake would anyone take this job if they couldn’t get bribes?

Senator Grassley: I want a bipartisan health care plan which protects the rights of insurance companies and does not allow Death panels.

BARAK OBAMA: I never said I was a liberal, I said I was a pragmatist. If I could only figure out a pragmatic health insurance plan.

JUSTICE SOTOMAYOR: The hearing was the worse exam I have had since my fifth grade spelling quiz.

ELIOT SPITZER: Why not another shot at being governor? I have already surpassed Bill in female issues, and he became president!

GOLDMAN SACHS EXECUTIVE: I love the competitive world of high finance. I louse up, and the government bails me out. I make billions and screw the government. It is a win-win game.