It increasingly is clear that Republican members of Congress represent the patriotic party of the American people. Instead of wasting time writing boondoggling laws providing health care to Americans, the Republican party has zoned in on real issues such as –NO VIAGRA FOR SEX OFFENDERS! Once such laws are passed this nation will become economically and politically strong. We expect our Republican leaders to shortly follow up the Viagra law with other important bills such as:
Free Prozac pills for loyal Americans like Rush Limbaugh.
No tea served in hospitals receiving federal funds.
Hospitals receiving federal funding will be compelled to only serve American Fries to patients.
One amputation per life. No loyal American needs more than one limb gone.
All hospitals receiving federal funds will be compelled to supply free hot air to anyone who can prove membership in the Republican party.
Illegal immigrants will be compelled to pay a 10% tax on wages for use in creating a Witches Group to handle their medical ailments.
A special “obesity tax” will be levied on those who are members of the Democratic Party in order to pay for stomach operations for Rush, Glenn, Newt and other chubby Republicans.
All hospitals receiving federal funds will be compelled to create wards containing a Cross for those who are Republicans and a Ward containing Cross and Bones for Democrats. If these people need an operation they are directed to the nearest plank to walk.