Tag Archives: lou dobbs

Mistaken Jobs

Following are jobs that certain people should never entertain taking.

RUDY GIULIANI: Kindergarten teacher.

BAGEL SHOP OWNER: Manager of a McDonald’s.

FIREMAN: Bank teller.

FRUIT STAND OWNER: Butcher.

SENATOR GRASSLEY: Abortion doctor.

BILL CLINTON: Jay Leno’s straight man.

TIGER WOODS: Owner miniature gold course.

GLENN BECK: Writer for Jon Stewart show.

LOU DOBBS: PR head of Mexican embassy in US.

RON PAUL: Director of IRS.

MYSTERIES OF LIFE

The longer I live the more mysteries haunt my mind as I examine the human condition. Following are some of my mysteries.

Why does anyone believe Lou Dobbs has the slightest claim to being “independent minded?”

Why humans gravitate to hatred more than to love?

Which is more satisfying, a good piss or a good shit?

How anyone with the mind of a human actually believes Sarah Palin is a qualified candidate to be president?

Why Obama has gone back on his pledge to end torture, rendition of prisoners and defends one Bush policy after another?

How Governor Patterson could have spent so many years in politics and be such an inept governor?

Why math baffles me?

How anyone can avoid grasping Rudy Giuliani is a self serving greedy little man?

How any religions can preach hate toward those of another religion?

COMING REPUBLICAN ATTRACTIONS

Following are stories that will appear in the media during the coming weeks as Republicans gear up for another round of their campaign of hate.

Expect to see a version of the Lou Dobbs show entitled: “I’m Just Asking Questions.” In this segment, Lou Dobbs, the independent fair minded newscaster whose only concern is getting to the truth will present an interview with Phil Schmuckputz who was at the scene when Joe Biden’s wife died in an automobile crash. Lou Dobbs will inform the public, “I’m Just Asking Questions but according to Phil there was a man at the scene of the crash and Joe Biden is a man, and this man was about the same height and weight as Joe Biden. I’m just asking questions but is that another one of Democratic coincidences? Not, that I’m saying Joe Biden is responsible for the death of his wife, but I’m just asking questions– does he have any documents to prove he did not kill his wife?”

The Republican Party will be introducing a resolution in Congress in the coming weeks proclaiming: “The Republican Party stands firmly on the belief the Earth is round because God designed it that way. Anyone opposing this proclamation will be considered to be in the pay of the Devil.

FLASH! LOU DOBBS SOLVES MISSING BIRTH CERTIFICATE MYSTERY

We are at CNN Headquarters where the gallant Lou Dobbs continues his fight to expose the impostor who sits in the Oval Office pretending to be the leader of the free world. Yes, Lou Dobbs has been threatened with loss of life by agents of the CIA, he has been warned by agents of the International Jewish Rabbi Alliance (IJRA), but this intrepid fighter for truth, freedom and the American way of life battles on. Finally, due to the work of a brave member of the Boston Police Department, Lou has finally been able to unravel the inability of the Barack Obama administration to produce a valid birth certificate that proves this man from Kenya is really an American.

Due to our close relationship with Lou Dobbs, the MAN OF FREEDOM, we are able to reveal for the first time the true story of the birth certificate fiasco which, most probably, will result in the removal from office of this African creature who was born and raised in the wilds of Africa, not the serene beautiful island of Hawaii. THERE IS NO SUCH PERSON AS BARACK OBAMA, THE MAN!! Listen to the words of Justin Barrett who used them to describe the uncle of Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates: He is nothing more or less than a “banana-eating jungle monkey.!” Barack Obama is a MONKEY! That is why there is no birth certificate!!

Of course, the liberal media will continue its efforts to foist on the American people a banana eating jungle monkey and claim those like Lou Dobbs who tell the truth are “racists.” Justin Barrett expressed the words of a modern American hero: “I am not a racist, but I am prejudice towards those who are stupid and pretend to stand up and preach for something they claim in freedom!” God Bless you Justin Barrett, you are the real American Hero!

Lou realizes there now is a Constitutional problem that must be resolved. Since “Barack Obama” is a monkey and not a human, can Congress impeach a monkey? If the human Barack Obama never existed can we Constitutionally rid ourselves of that which does not exist?

We urge a special session of Congress to rid the nation of the false team of Obama-Biden and allow the Sarah Palin-John McCain to assume office. A Sarah Palin presidency will restore America to its rightful place in the world, make insurgents drop their weapons, and ensure every American has a well paying job. My only concern is when truth, beauty, and prosperity return to America, what will Lou Dobbs talk about each evening– fishing in Alaska??