Tag Archives: NRA

A Shooting In Helsinki–Anyone At Fault?

The shooter was a refugee from Kosovo who came to Finland in search of peace and security. But, he was a stranger in a strange land which means being compelled to learn a new language, adjust to new cultural values and ways of doing things, and suffering from being marginalized in a new culture. Ibrahim Shkupolli, killed several people or reasons that will be debated and discussed for years. He shot them in a shopping center, a group of people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time and had the misfortune to encounter the wrong person. The Kosovo refugee had several previous convictions for firearms possession, and paid the fines and kept the guns. After all, if you ask a member of the American NRA they are clear that guns don’t kill people, just people kill people which is the rationale for never taking weapons away from any disturbed individual.

Naturally, the fact a refugee killed people has already raised issues among many that a solution to avoid shootings is to deport those from foreign lands. Of course, it was but a few years ago that a Finnish born and raised young man went on a shooting spree at a school. So, how does one deal with shootings. One solution is forbidding anyone other than authorities to possess a weapon at home. If they want to shoot, why not go to government operated shooting places? There is no doubt my words are those of a man who is against the right to bear arms. Actually, no. I think anyone should have the right to bear arms, just join the military as I did many years ago.

Gun Crazies Win Another Battle In Stupidity

Once upon a time in America, those running the railroads of this nation were on the lookout for suspicious people with guns who might try to hold up the train. Today, the gun nuts once again extended the right of members of the Nutty Rights Of America who want to carry guns when they ride trains. The Senate by a vote of 68 to 30 bowed to the NRA and will allow Amtrak passengers the same rights as those possessed by airline nuts who can transport guns provided they declare the item and it is locked in a securely locked container.

According to head Nut Senator Roger Wicker, “Americans should not have their Second Amendment rights restricted for any reason, particularly if they choose to travel on America’s federally subsidized rail line.”

OK, nut case, this means any terrorist who declares his weapon and locks it in a securely locked container can take weapons on a train. I increasingly have come to believe that members of the NRA are secret agents of al-Qaeda. I assure Senator Roger Nut Case Wicker, that al-Qaeda is besides themselves with joy at your idiotic comment.

Do you ever get the feeling America is controlled by al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups who get by with their madness by posing as members of the Republican Party?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comment.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “World’s Tallest Man Seeks Love”
He will bend over to any extent to get it.

UAE, Khaleej Times: “Astronomers Find Rocky Planet”
The NRA insists humans have a right to bring their guns to it.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Bernanke-Recession Over”
Tell that to the 12 million unemployed.

USA, NY Daily News: “Man Jailed For Sex Talk With Dog”
I bow to the dog lover in this one.

UK, The Independent: “Eunuchs Demand Right To Vote”
They really have balls to make such demands!

Sweden, The Local: “Cockroach Surprise”
They are coming out now that Obama is president.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Who Will Save Christmas?”
Jesus Christ?

USA, Army Times: “Man Alive Despite Phone Call”
I always thought one could use a cell phone in heaven.

UK, Guardian: “Ten Best Seduction Techniques”
Money, money, money, money, power, power, etc…

South Africa, Argus: “School Weapon Crackdown”
Has the NRA head they are depriving kids of their 2nd Amendment rights?

HAVE GUN, CAN TRAVEL WHEREVER I WANT!

In the NRA version of America criminals roam the streets of large cities killing at will unless brave citizens are allowed to carry weapons and shoot down the bad guys. Of course, in this fantasy world, facts and figures are not part of the National Rifle Association view of reality. In the 1970s, New York City had over 2,000 murders and last year it was under 700, figures which are consistent with murder rates in other parts of the country. Senator John Thume of South Dakota is sponsoring a bill allowing anyone from a state which legalizes carrying a concealed weapon to be able to carry a concealed weapon all over the nation– we are certain Senator Thume will soon fight for an amendment that any nation receiving aid from America must allow its citizens to enter their nation with a concealed weapon.

Senator Thume offered as a rationale for his bill that if people from his fair state who went to New York City as tourists and could bring along their concealed weapon, “Central Park would be a much safer place.” Unfortunately, for this argument, there were no murders in Central Park in the past year and only three serious assaults. Back in his native Sioux Falls where NRA idiots can carry around concealed weapons there were five murders and 341 assaults. For some reason unknown to this writer those with concealed weapons did not use them to prevent the assaults. Could it be that talking about bravery for NRA supporters is really what they mean rather than actually doing anything with the concealed gun.

Americans continue believing that crime is rising and threatens the individual citizen. Any historian of the history of crime would be able to prove America in 2009 is among the least crime ridden societies in human history. But, when it comes to reading the history of crime, you can give NRA members an “F.”

If a rational idea about weapons ever entered the mind of an NRA supporter it would die of loneliness.

NRA BACKS PROFESSOR GATES!

We are pleased to present a scoop in the story of Professor Henry Gates and his encounter with jack booted police who forced their way into his home. Here is the true story!

Gates: Who are you? What do you want?
Crowley: We have a report that a man who was in possession of illegal weapons was seen entering this house.
G: This is my home. Yes, I have guns in this house, but they are mine and it is none of your business about my guns.
C: We have a report that someone was seen entering this resident and he had illegal weapons. We are going to search your home for those illegal weapons.
G: Like hell, you are. This is my home, I have my guns and no one is entering without my permission and you sure don’t have it.
C: I would advise you to stand aside and allow me to enter. I believe there are illegal guns in this house and we will find them.
G: Do you know who you are messing with, boy?
C: No, who am I messing with?
G: I am the head of the Massachusetts National Rifle Association and we don’t intend to have jack booted cops busting into homes taking away our guns.
C: I don’t have jack boots, but I am entering and, frankly, I don’t give a damn if you head the NRA of America.
G: A man has a right to his guns and no government agent is coming in. I advise you to back off because we NRA people don’t take lightly to folk like you abusing our rights.
C: Please get out of the way or else!
G: Or else what, boy? This is my home. These are my guns. No government is going to take them away. Tell me boy, have you read the 2nd Amendment? It says a man has a right to his guns to defend himself to jack booted cops like you.
C: I’m giving you one more warning. Stand aside or I will arrest you.
G: No one gets my guns. I want your name and your badge number. It will be sent to NRA headquarters. Boy, you is in for some real serious trouble.
C: You are under arrest and we are going to search for those guns.

Professor Gates was placed under arrest and taken to police headquarters. The NRA is organizing a national protest against police entering homes to take guns away from God-fearing American citizens. God Bless the NRA for standing up for the rights of Professor Henry Louis Gates!!

NRA IDIOTS GAIN ANOTHER DEFEAT FOR COMMON SENSE

Future historians will read in wonder about the mad acts of NRA leaders who believe any interference in the right to carry weapons somehow intrudes upon their constitutional rights.
The latest manifestation of idiocy is passage of legislation in Arizona and Tennessee which allows people the right to carry concealed weapons into bars and restaurants. The NRA is fighting to have Congress extend the right to carry your weapon anywhere you desire because the police are of no help when it comes to defending oneself against potential crime! The argument ordinarily advanced to gun nuts is
A. People are shot in bars
B. I have the right to carry a gun into the bar to defend myself.

Logic then deduces: If everyone has a gun, when the guns begin firing, we can have a massacre, not the shooting of one or two people.

We have gun nuts demanding the right to carry concealed weapons into church to defend themselves against a possible shooting. Everyone knows, that Jesus Christ carried a sword wherever he went in case he had to kill people.

If we carry NRA logic to its ultimate conclusion:

A. There have been shootings at airports and on planes.
B. Therefore, everyone should have a right to bring his concealed weapon into an airport and on the plane.

I assume this means Congress will legislate the end of security measures at airports since such searches intrude on the 2nd Amendment rights of Americans!!

P.S. I hate to tell NRA nuts but in order to enter Heaven you have to check your weapons at the desk. Sorry, 2nd Amendment rights do not apply in Heaven. Of course, you nuts should have no problem heading downward where they welcome idiots who want to carry concealed weapons into bars and churches and schools and airplanes.

Editorial: Dick Cheney: Poster Boy For Gun Lovers

Once upon a time in the wild west of Wyoming a little boy played cowboy with his toy gun. Dickie was so thrilled with playing with guns that when he grew up he liked to go into the forest and show his bravery by killing squirrels and deer. Dickie figured if he didn’t kill the squirrels, the squirrel army would gain so many numbers of angry members, it would sweep over the defenseless people of Wyoming. As for the deer, they ran faster than he could so it was only fair that he had a gun to shoot.

One day, the brave little Dickie, got a letter from Uncle Sam which informed him the army wanted his services to fight in a place called Vietnam. Well, Dickie consulted the Constitution and it clearly said the 2nd Amendment only applied to “militias” which meant the Army could not take his body away from Wyoming. He also figured fighting in jungles was not exactly the same as killing deer because those Viet Cong had guns that fired back and a man could get killed. Dickie told the draft board he had better things to do than risk his life overseas. Anyway, the local NRA people told him they needed his services to fight against the oppressive American government which was flying around in black helicopters and kidnapping decent American citizens.

Dickie was a brave man and kept his gun ready 24 hours a day and night just in case those oppressive gangsters in the black helicopters swooped down and tried to break into his house. His neighbor, Joe Horn, came out one day and shot down two men robbing the next door house. Dickie enjoyed such tales of men shooting people who didn’t have guns to fire back because it always meant the good guys won and the bad guys lost.

Dickie made certain in life he hung around with other such brave men like Georgie, the boy whose daddy kept him out of fighting people with guns. If you loved guns like Dickie loved them, the important thing was always to shoot at something that could not shoot back. That is the American way of bravery. The local NRA people said it was true and if they said something was true and American, it darn sure was!

Dickie was a 100% American not like that coward John Kerry who went to Vietnam and got a soft job in the jungle while Dickie was battling through Washington D.C. traffic. It is no wonder the NRA holds up Dickie and Georgie, and all the other Bush draft dodgers as the personification of what is meant by the gun culture. In America, to love a gun means always make certain you only use it against unarmed people and unarmed animals. And, if you really want to become a good hunter, get an Uzi in case the first shot doesn’t hit the target. After all, we know the black helicopters are sending rays to make your shot go astray. It’s them damn liberals in the helicopters who are behind efforts to take away a man’s right to kill the undefended. Just read the 2nd Amendment, it’s all explained in it.

Now, I know some people want to take away Dickie’s right to have a gun to defend his nation against dictatorship. Just remember, the last time the oppressive government tried to take away our right to slaves, we God loving Constitution obeying gun lovers rose up in arms to defend our laws and way of life. And, just remember, it was gun loving God fearing decent Americans who were in the KKK lynch mobs to teach them uppity black skinned men
to obey the Constitution and keep their eyes away from our white women! If you take away a man’s right to have a gun, you take away his right to defend his family against you know whom– them damn terrorist Muslims!

Dickie, them liberals may say bad things about you, but we know that Dickie Cheney is one darn good straight shooter. OK, so maybe he is a mite bit off target a few times, but his heart is as straight as an arrow. Just remember, if you take a strict interpretation of Christ’s Sermon On The Mount, it clearly says a man has a right to own a gun.

Danish Reporter Meets Texas Justice!

A Danish reporter for the Ritzau Bureau was covering the Democratic primary campaign in Texas and the meeting between his nation’s prime minister and President Bush when he suddenly became acutely aware he was not in the quiet saftey of Denmark but in the rough and tumble world of Texas. Terkel Svensson was having difficulty getting connected to the Internet on his laptop computer so he committed the dangerous act of stepping outside to make a phone call. Inadvertently, he stepped into a woman’s garden and was confronted by the sight of a woman waving a gun at him and shouting, “Get off my property.”

Mr. Svensson naturally beat a hast retreat from having his feet planted onto good Texas soil and planted them onto the safe environment of the pavement. Texas law allows residents to defend their property from tresspassers with deadly force. Hopefuly, Texas residents can sleep peacefully tonight knowing the Danish invasion of their homeland has been successfully thwarted due to the sharp eyes of a woman and her gun. The NRA is always right, people have a right to defend themselves from those Danes!