Tag Archives: Palin

Uncle Tom Sowell Goes Wild On Obama

Noted constitutional expert, Sarah Palin, is concerned at what is happening over the past two years to the rights of Americans. She recently twittered her followers to read a new article by Uncle Tom Sowell who blasted the Obama administration for following the ideas of Nazi, Germany and eroding our rights as Americans. “In our time, American democracy is being dismantled piece by piece before our very eyes by the current administration.” He is particularly upset at “extraction of vast sums of money from a private enterprise” that the president will use as he damn well sees. Uncle Tom Sowell sees remarkable similarity between the ideas of Barack Obama and those of Nazi, Germany.

I originally thought on reading the weekly nonsense by Uncle Tom that appears in my throwaway newspaper, that he was referring to the administration of George Bush. The arrest of thousands of people who happened to be of Muslim background, the wire tapping of our phones, claiming the right to have librarians inform the government what is read by people, the arrest and detention of hundreds of people in jails without specification of charges or the right to a fair trial, the torture of prisoners — a violation, not only of the Constitution, but of the Geneva Accords that America promises to obey. I would think Uncle Tom would be concerned that an American president lied about WMD and sent over four thousand Americans to their deaths, but I guess Uncle Tom is a self hating black man who sucks up to those in authority and will vilify President Obama in order to get a better salary for the garbage he prints.

As for Sarah, I assume she knows as much as Nazi, Germany as she does about economics, or the Constitution.

Sarah Palin And Politics Of Ignorance

Among the mysteries of my life is how people regard Sarah Palin as an individual who has ideas regarding the future or present status of America. I frequently hear comments such as, “she is jut like me. Why, we could have coffee together and get along.” Interesting. So, we can assume a Kentucky farm wife would have done a better job as Secretary of the Treasury than sarcastic, elitist Alexander Hamilton? I have a hunch we are currently in the present economic mess because men and women with ordinary minds such as George Bush lacked knowledge concerning the Middle East and invaded where no one should have invaded. If an intelligent idea, by accident, entered the mind of Sarah, it would die of loneliness.

In 1952, Dwight Eisenhower, former general commanding British and American forces in Europe during WWII, became president. He rejected advice for further bombing and negotiated a truce with North Korea and China. In 1954 he rejected advice to support French troops in Vietnam and would not allow bombing or the dispatch of US forces. In 1956, he ordered Israel, Britain and France to end their attack on Egypt. Dwight Eisenhower was NOT the type of person who would have lunch with you. He understood war, understood the complexity of fighting, and wanted peace. He is the polar opposite of a Sarah Palin.

Oh, and he wanted to reduce the number of atomic weapons in hope of achieving a world without such WMD.

General Sarah Palin Explains Military Policy

General Sarah Palin won her rank in the wilds of Alaska where she challenged deer and bear and squirrels who are noted for their aggressive attitude toward enemies. There are reports of incidents in which turtles snapped too loudly at the woman general and were shortly dispatched to turtle heaven. I realize liberal “SOCIALISTS” who have never walked the dangerous paths of Alaska are at heart, cowards and pacifists. They lack the noble spirit of the warrior who ventures into combat with dreams of wiping out thousands of gooks or Japs or any of those who lack the American womanly spirit. General Sarah is upset because President Obama has signed a treaty with Russia to reduce nuclear warheads. She insists this is the first time in history when an American president made such a reduction in our armed forces. Of course, her hero, Ronald Reagan urged a one third reduction in nuclear weapons–oops, that it the same number suggested by Obama.

She is also upset the president will not use nuclear weapons unless they are absolutely necessary. According to General Palin: “It’s unbelievable” and to her it is similar to a kid saying, “Go ahead, punch me. I’m not going to retaliate.” During the Cuba Missile Crisis of 1962, President Kennedy rejected the advice of a few generals who wanted to use nuclear weapons. Richard Nixon engaged in nuclear discussions with the Soviet Union.

As President Obama responded to the Alaska general: “Last time I checked, Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues.” He also pointed out the Secretary of Defense, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff agreed with his policies.

The Right Job For The Right People

We offer a sample of jobs that would fit the needs of the following people.

SARAH PALIN: Strip tease artiste in a bar in the Yukon.

TIGER WOODS: A seminary which has the vow of abstinence.

GOV. DAVID PATTERSON: Director of a school for deaf and blind politicians.

HARRY REID: Lion tamer in a circus. (one other than Congress)

LARRY SUMMERS: Math teacher in a Harlem high school.

TONY BLAIR: Sergeant in a British platoon in Afghanistan.

SENATOR JIM DEMINT: Director of a Homeless shelter for impoverished millionaires.

COACH OF NY KNICKS: Coach of the Los Angeles Lakers

RUDY GIULIANI: Shoveling shit in a farm field.

COMMENTS NEVER SPOKEN BUT THOUGHT!

Following are comments thought by these people, but they will never publicly express them.

GLEN BECK: Hitler had his Brown Shirts, but all I have are my Tea Party shirts. Oh well, in the end, the goals are the same, power, power, power.

GEORGE GLOONEY: I am a co-star with goats, I’ like my agent to explain this one.

DAVID LETTERMAN: A week without a sex scandal involving me. Hmm…

UNEMPLOYED AMERICAN: Wow, I now have health insurance, but I don’t have the money for it, let alone for the drugs.

GOVERNOR CHRISTIE: I promised the people of New Jersey lower taxes. How can I twist things so Corzine gets blamed for higher taxes. Me, I don’t have a clue how to balance the budget without higher taxes.

MIKE BLOOMBERG: A hundred million to become mayor. I guess that means it will require at least a billion to become governor.

RUDY GIULIANI: People want me to make a run for governor of New York. Do they understand how much such a run would cost me in cancelled speeches in which I pontificate about nothing?

SENATOR REID: Ok, we got the bill to the Senate. Now, exactly what was I supposed to do when it got here?

SARAH PALIN: Book tours, great photo shots of me, so why the heck should I run for public office.

COMMENTS NEVER SPOKEN, BUT THOUGHT

Following are comments that are thought but never spoken.

JOE WILSON: What if I had said, “MF, You Lied!” It would have been worth another $5 million.

GENERAL MCCHRYSTAL: I want more soldiers in Afghanistan, but to tell you the truth I have no idea how many “more” will do anything.

SILVIO BERLUSCONI: I have plenty of white women, but that tall tan one in the White House, she intrigues me.

MCKENZIE PHILLIPS: I got an hour on Oprah for incest with dad, I wonder what I get for incest with mom.

JOE BIDEN: I may be full of hot air, but my political guts say troops in Afghanistan will not sell in Peoria.

JOBLESS PERSON: I’m glad Mr. Bernanke says the recession is over. It may be for Wall Street but it sure ain’t for Main Street.

SARAH PALIN: I gave a speech someplace in what they call Asia. I guess that is the southern part of Russia.

SENATOR GRASSLEY: I want a compromise on health care that incorporates all of my ideas.

JOHN MCCAIN: On reflection, maybe it was wise to lose and not have to deal with recessions, healthcare, Afghanistan,…

KIM JONG IL If I agree to nuclear disarmament, do I get a trip to Disneyland?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UAE, Khaleej Times: ‘Police Keep Watch On Public Nuisances”
I guess Glenn Beck and Rush are under surveillance.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: ‘Mannequins With Headscarves”
We can’t be too careful, first, naked mannequins, then God knows what!

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Education-Stone Throwers”
We sure have come a long way from apples for the teacher.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Brace Self For Massive Art Attack
This is one story I will just brush away.

Sweden, The Local: “Sex Rumors Land Pastor In Hot Water”
All he wanted was a hot time in the old church on Sunday.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Sarah Palin Pops Up IN Hong Kong”
She thought it was next to Russia, the nation she sees every day by gazing out the window.

South Africa, Argus: “Keep Trying To Do Right Thing”
For Republicans, that means saying ‘no” with gusto!

UK, Guardian: “Who Killed JFK Asks Gadhafi?”
The Israel Lobby?

Sweden, The Local: “Flammable Bras For Female Conscripts”
That is one way to keep men away from their boobs.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “”Dead Bodies Up For Grabs”
Save a kosher one for me.

Dick Cheney Is Mad!

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is mad and getting angrier by the moment. First, he had to deal with that chicken President Bush who lacked the balls to declare a national emergency, arrest all those who doubted Bush administration actions, and, announce from now on, not only will torture be legal, but it will be public. After suffering through Bush who had the backbone of a chocolate eclair, he now has to endure Republican leaders who shout “lie” at the president. Shouting is for weaklings, and as far as Dick is concerned, only a dickless man would consider it brave to shout curses at the president.

Dick wants action! And, he wants it now! First, it’s about time Barack Obama, the African born liar, should be impeached and replaced by a real American, like someone born in Alaska. Dick is getting irritated with the shouting and yelling, and asking when will the NRA take some action and protect America from the jack booted police.

Dick, let’s be honest, they don’t make dicks like you anymore. I appreciate your willingness to allow the Texas dick to pretend he was president, that took some real balls. But, now you are stuck with Samba dancing Sanford, the mouth that roars nonsense Sarah Palin, and George chopping wood in Texas.

ONLY IN AMERICA

ONLY IN AMERICA

Would members of Congress express more concern over the possibility that illegal immigrants might get health than worry about the 45,000,000 Americans without health care.

Would poverty be blamed on personal laziness.

Would boorish behavior be proclaimed as healthy.

Would a mentally challenged person like Sarah Palin be selected to run for the second highest office in the land.

Would anyone still believe “more soldiers” will solve the Afghanistan mess.

Would kindergarten children be subjected to the tyranny of testing.

Would hatred and anger be regarded as virtues.

Would torture be defended as necessary to have a democracy.

Would requiring a millionaire to pay an extra $25,000 in taxes be regarded as sending him to the poor house.

Would a president select a person to be Secretary of Education who has never taught children for at least three years.

Would a teacher not be appointed to be Secretary of Commerce.

Expressions I Hope Never Again To Hear

In the modern world of media, one continually hears the same expression reported in a host of ways. Following are some expressions I could do well without ever again hearing.

“Obama’s plan is straight out of Nazi Germany. I know, I was in the Nazi party in Germany.”

‘I have a right to take my gun anywhere, anytime.”

“You have to admit that Sarah Palin is an exciting person.”

“I’m an American patriot, and you ain’t.”

“Let me again try explaining my health care program so everyone understands it.”

“We gave compassionate leave to the Lockerbie bomber because the man is suffering from cancer.”

“We Russians believe in the rule of law and order. I give the law and the people accept my orders.”

“God gave us Israel. Therefore, we Jews have the right to use any of this land and get Palestinians off it, after all, one can’t disobey God.”

“Man, I love dogs. I just like to bet on them.”

“Did I use steroids? That all depends on how you define what is a steroid. After all, an aspirin could be considered a steroid.” Continue reading