Tag Archives: shoe thrower

Are There Shoes In Your Future?

Somewhere in a Baghdad jail a disconsolate young man sits pondering his future while mumbling, “a shoe, a shoe, my freedom for a shoe.” Muntazar Al-Zadi, who gained immortal fame by taking off his shoes at a press conference featuring President Bush and heaving them in the direction of the man who cost so many innocent people to die, was supposed to be freed yesterday but still remains in jail while paperwork is completed. His family and hundreds of supporters await anxiously in Baghdad the release of their hero who used a shoe as a weapon. They carry banners, portraits of the young man and seek to offer him rewards ranging from a new home to marriage proposals.

Perhaps, Muntazar is a good example for the Tea Party crazies who shout curses and yell and rant about supposed evils of Barack Obama. How about gathering some tea bags and venture down to a Texas ranch and heave them at George Bush who was the one who doubled our national debt from $5 trillion to $10 trillion?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Czech Republic, Prague Daily Monitor: “Town Fights Vandalism With Dummies”
Big deal. In New York we elect dummies to become vandals.

Canada, Totonto Star: “Confidence Vote”
The only confidence I have in the integrity of Republicans is “no confidence.”

USA, Newsday: “Serena Williams To Give Judge A Hug”
Somehow, I don’t think hitting the judge with a racquet counts as a hug.

UK, The Independent: “Doctor Who Killed Patient Struck Off List”
I assume it was the list for the Christmas party.

South Africa, Argus: “School Weapon Crackdown”
Just wait to the NRA hears they won’t allow kids to bring guns to school!

Denmark, Copenhagen Post; “Most Migrate For Work And Love”
So, if there is no work or love in Denmark, why doesn’t everyone migrate?

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Brothel Open Day A Big Hit”
I assume they give out samples on an open day.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “University Vows To Crackdown On Louts”
Well, there goes the faculty.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Court Orders Release Of Bush Shoe Thrower”
He is headed to Wyoming to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Sultan Funds Kidney Center”
Reports indicate the Sultan’s real name is Moishe Goldberg.

Yemen, Yemen Times; “Insurance For Teachers”
No more tests to grade.

FREE SHOELESS MUNTAZAR AL-ZAIDI!

Shoe stores throughout the world are hanging shoes in their windows as a show of support for the hero of all shoes, Muntazar al-Zaidi. Thousands of men in Iraq have taken off their shoes and are shoeless at work in order to make known their praise for the pride of Iraq, the man who launched two shoes whose thud against the wall instead of into an empty piece of human bone has become the sound of hope to a people who have suffered due to the mad invasion of their land by war criminal, George Bush. Actually, no one wants the president to experience any physical harm, the emotional damage to whatever is left of his sense of human decency is sufficient punishment.

Dargham al-Zaidi, brother of the Iraq right armed pitcher, claims Muntazar was beaten up when dragged away by Iraq police and is in such bad physical condition the government fears his appearance will create a storm of protest. The speaker of the parliament supposedly has resigned over the issue and the Maliki government faces a dilemma. If they produce a physically injured man it might spark enormous demonstrations that could over throw Maliki, if they do nothing, it only sparks more stories about brutality.

Ironically, two Bush ducks have damaged the situation in Iraq as much as he famous ducking of the issue regarding WMD that never existed.