We bring to the world a special report from Somali headquarters in Mogadushu concerning the latest news concerning a ship that dared to sail into our territorial waters with intent to create a disturbance. Our armed men jumped on the ship only to be met by a violent crew of criminals who then viciously assaulted our assault team. The Panama-flagged ship carried a crew of men from Ghana. It is clear the intent of this ship was to sail close to the coast of Somalia and assist rebel forces who are attempting to overthrow the government. Some of these ‘crew members” had knives in their sleeping quarters and one was even found with an axe. Our gallant pirates were not prevented from carrying out their task of restoring peace and tranquility to the region despite efforts of these Ghana thugs who sail on ships that traverse our coastal areas.
We Somali people have for too long been oppressed by the world so it is time to stand up for freedom. We have the right–God gave it to us — to seize any ship which goes within a hundred miles of our coast. In taking these ships, we are striking a blow for freedom because we can get ransom money which will be used to ensure the people of our land live in plenty and in peace.
A Somali court will place on trial any member of the crew who initiated violence against our innocent pirates.
P.S. This report was written with the assistance of the Israeli propaganda ministry.