The most famous spy exchange is currently in process of completion. Sources indicate Igor Sutyagan, a spy for the United States, has already arrived in Vienna and the Russian government soon expects the arrival of Anna Chapman who was arrested for spying in the United States. Of course, the State Department denies having any spies in Russia and the Russian government will not acknowledge the presence of spies in the US. From an objective analysis, it appears that Russia is getting the best of this exchange. They receive Ms. Chapman, who undoubtedly, will bring her whips and chains for use in disciplining naughty men while all the US gets is a dour faced middle aged man. Ms. Chapman will bring pictures of New York City that she took while posing as a tourist. We can expect the entire Russian spy agency to carefully study these photographs in order to identify the best places to purchase snow cones or high quality ice cream. And, what does the US receive in exchange? They get a sensual woman who is damned attractive and America, as usual, gets the short end of the stick.
We strongly urge the American government to insist that at least one of the spies returned to us is gorgeous. And, we should insist on the right to take tourist pictures in Moscow!