Tag Archives: swine flu

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Guardian: “Brown- I feel Jacqui Jane’s Grief”
At least this time he spelled her name correctly.

South Africa, Argus: “Surfers Ordered To Pay”
In flounders, I assume.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Low Carb Died Leads To Grumpiness”
Ice cream, anyone?

Uganda, Daily Monitor: “College Profs Withhold Grades Over Pay”
I guess students should withhold tuition over grades.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Snapshot Of Swine Flu Cure”
A pig that is healthy?

UK, The Independent: “Ten Best Sex Toys”
Is penis one?

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Worse Is Yet To Come”
After the health care bill, what could be a worse outcome?

Canada, Toronto Star: “Boss Wanted Me Killed”
For a misspelled word?

USA, Army Times: “Funeral Buglers In Short Supply”
Overwork?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Park Bike In Car”
I would be more impressed if one parked a car in a bike.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA, Army Times: “Administration Concerned About China Military Buildup”
The US spends over $600 billion on the military and it is concerned about China!

UK, The Independent: “Clinton Met Fake Kim Jong Il”
Big deal, Kim met a fake Clinton.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Metro Counting On Ghost Passengers”
But, what if they pay in ghost money?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Sport Stars Banned From Dancing”
You mean no dancing in the end zone!

Oman, Khaleej Times: Abdullah Abdullah May Pull Out Of Runoff”
He will be replaced by his brother, Abdullah.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Former President Chirac To Be Tried On Corruption Charges”
I won’t be happy until another former president is on trial for violating the Constitution.

South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “Reports Of My Resignation Not True”
Select any Republican senator for the above line and wish it was true.

Nepal, Nepali Times; ‘Head For The Hills”
The pigs are coming with you-know-what.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: ‘Men Suffer From Gender Segregation”
Not as much as the women.

Trinidad, Trinidad Guardian: “Three Cops Arrested”
That’s all!

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Sweden The Local: “Torture Like Parenting Methods”
For some kids, the parents they have leads to torture and the reverse is true for parents.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Dogs Chase Away Garbage Men”
Look dogs, we are in a recession, be thankful you have any food.

China, China Daily: “Iceland Says Goodbye To Big Macs”
Hello to big fish days.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Egypt Seeks Death For Veiled Killer”
Who knows who lurks behind the veil, the killer sure didn’t.

UAE, Khaleej Times: “Debate Over Swine Flu Shots”
Do we give the vaccine to people or to the pigs?

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Harry Potter Theme Party Banned”
Would they allow an un-theme party?

Canada, Toronto Star: “Dogs–Mankind’s Worst Enemy?
From a dog’s perspective, it might be that humans are a dog’s worse enemy.

UK, Guardian: “Lite Newspaper Facing Closing”
This is one heavy matter to reflect on.

South Africa, Argus: “There Is Something That Troubles Me”
Heck, in America, 2009, I could list a dozen things that trouble me.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Teenager Postpones Plan To Sell Globe”
Whew! That takes one scare off my back.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Striking Garbage Men Fired”
This is one stinking way to deal with garbage.

Australia, Brisbane Times: ‘Police Stop Driver For 15 Violations In 11 Minutes”
He thought he was entered in the Olympic car drive to gain traffic tickets.

UAE, Gulf Times: “Obama Concerned About Road Fatalities”
I just don’t think this ranks ahead of concern over the unemployed.

South Africa, Argus: “Sick State Of Affairs”
This just about sums up the US Congress discussing health care.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Daddy Can You See My Brain”
Honest Rush, I am looking but just can’t see anything.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Stop Bribing Courts, President Medvedev Tells Oligarchs”
Are you telling me it is wrong to bribe judges? But, I’m wealthy!

UK, The Independent: “Firefighters Rescue 27 Stone Woman”
I guess they rose to the task.

Egypt, Egypt Daily News: “Saudi Accepts Unvaccinated Egyptian Pilgrims”
However, any pigs accompanying them will require vaccination.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Wall Street Bankers Lied Over And Over Again”
So, what’s new?

Sweden, The Local: ‘Princess Madeline In Underwear Bomb Scare”
I just want to know how the bomber got the bomb to the underwear.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Hand Washing Record”
This follows quickly on the hand job record.

USA, NY Daily News: “Interracial Couple Denied Marriage License”
Isn’t it wonderful we still retain places in the South that Tea Party advocates want to return to.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Toronto Plans Mass Swine Flu Vaccination”
Just bring a pig and get vaccinated.

UK, The Independent: “Ten Best Insults”
You are a Rush Limbaugh, you are a Rush Limbaugh, you are a Rush Limbaugh, etc..

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Mother-in-Law Pepper Sprayed”
I suspect there are those who would prefer something more deadly.

Australia, The Age: “Why Do People Hate You?”
Well, George, think of WMD and Iraq to begin with.

Qatar, Khaleej Times: “Officer Demoted For Killing”
Isn’t that rather a severe punishment for only killing someone?

South Africa, Argus: “Gang Holds Up Party
They wanted to have a blast at the party.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Sweden, The Local: “Hospital Performs Eye Surgery On Wrong Woman”
Is it the wrong woman got the surgery or the wrong doctor performed it?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post; “Chicken Seeks Mexican Citizenship”
This is one clucky story.

Japan, Japan Times: “Confession Leads To Body In Obama Bay”
Chalk another thing up to Barack Obama –killing people in Japan, no less!

Kenya, Kenya Standard: “Education Official Sent Home Over Missing Millions”
The least one could do is make him stand in the corner with a dunce cap.

Swaziland, Times Of Swaziland: “Headman Arrested For Striping 3 Girls”
You mean, headmen can’t just strip girls? What’s the use of being a headman?

Papua-New Guinea, Post Courier: “I Was A Camel”
Oh, so that’s why you have that hump on your back!

Ukraine, Kyiv Post: “Will Swine Flu Spare Ukraine”
I hear the head swine is Russian!

Singapore, Straits Times: “Liquor Thief Caught”
He was captured in between a burp.

UK, The Independent: “Things Will Get Better”
Eventually.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Poor Get Poorer In Affluent Society”
Those with power get money, those without, get poor.

UK, Guardian: “Irish Students Told To Bring Toilet Paper”
For the classroom shit or the toilet shit?

South Africa, Argus: “Shocking Revelation In Library”
Some people were caught reading books!

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Real Estate Agent- Now Is Time To Sell”
Because now is the time for us to get some money.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Stone The Crow”
Better than stoning the Rolling Stones.

Sweden, The Local: “Toys R Us Scolded For Doll Discrimination”
From now on we have Bob dolls.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post; “Police Hunt Murder Suspect”
Wow, this is shocking news, imagine police hunting for murderers.

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “US Making Progress Fighting Terrorism Says Obama”
It is news like this that makes me feel safe. I guess if the president says it, it must be true. But, then again, I heard the same thing from Bush.

Japan, Japan Times; “Cops Initiate Groper Transit Arrests”
Exactly who and what are they groping?

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Flu Hotline”
Dial in to get the flu.

Netherlands, Radio Netherlands: “Why Aren’t Dutch As Fat As Brits”
Hanging onto the windmills?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Czech Republic, Prague Daily Monitor: ‘Pope More Popular Than Expected”
Is that good or bad news?

Qatar. Gulf Times: “Gorillas Make Pals Online”
Big deal. Our gorillas in congress not only daily make friends, but loads of enemies.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Disregard Swine Flu Rumors”
The media has created an epidemic where none exists. Just ask people in the hospital.

Japan, Japan Times: “Elevator Decree Take Effect”
From now on the elevator will have to use the stairs.

Israel, Haaretz: “Where Wild Things Are”
At any Tea Party gathering.

Sweden, The Local: “Soldiers Blow Up Wrong House”
Don’t feel bad. In America we blew up thousands of lives in search of non-existent WMD.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Lunacy Rules At Royal Perth Show”
So what, our lunacy in Congress surpasses anything in the world.

South Africa, Argus: “Clothing Strike Suspended”
From now on, we all work naked.

UK, The Independent: “We Will Change The World-Brown”
I think people in the UK would settle for changing England.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Singapore, Straits Times: “Law Against Dumping Parents?”
There sure is one against dumping kids.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Man Dives After Diving Into Fountain”
OK, there are pennies in it, but diving for them!!

UK, The Independent: “August Month For Christmas Shopping”
If you live in Arizona, but for those in Michigan, …

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Cabbie Attacked”
Was that the tip?

Sweden, The Local: “Fewer Seek Asylum In Sweden”
After Iraq winters, it’s a mighty stretch to be in Sweden.

Israel, Haaretz: “Tips To Embrace Vegetarianism”
Blueberries, strawberries, carrots, peaches, etc..

Hungary, Budapest Times: “Goodbye Lenin”
Hello Putin.

Czech Republic, Prague Post: “Sh ort Shrift For Swan Lake”
It’s more like a Swan song.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Health Minister Discusses Swine Flu”
We prefer if he would cure swine flu.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

Comments on the human condition by an old codger.

I have as much trust that President Zardari of Pakistan can prevent weapons of mass destruction falling into the hands of the Taliban as I do in George Bush’s Mission Accomplished

Most of humankind is trying to deal with 21st century life while Saudi Arabia is trying to deal with the issue of moving from the 1500s into the 1600s.

The world is at the mercy of a swine. Do you ever wonder if one day the flu we fear is the last flu we humans will ever experience? Oh well, at least the cockroaches will not have to worry about swine flu.

I hear Paris Hilton is working as a garbage woman. She wants to experience junk. After all, her experience in life has been going from one junket to another.

Americans fascination with 2nd Amendment rights fits right into the plans of Mexican drug dealers for the right kind of assault weapons.

Egyptian archeologists opened tombs that had been hidden for thousands of years. It is now officially confirmed, they contained weapons of mass destruction, spears, bows and arrows, stones, etc..

The Yankees spent a half billion on three players and lost three straight to the Red Sox. This qualifies them for a two billion dollar stimulus package and Obama will decide who manages the Yankees from now on.

American atheists are demanding their God given right to have their children educated about atheism.

I have always wondered why gung ho shouters for war like Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh never wound up in the armed forces. Could it be the sight of blood frightens them when it is their own, not someone else’s blood?

In the 1940s, Jews served as the European scapegoat, in 2009, it is the Romas.