2012 PREDICTIONS

We offer the first annual Impudent Observer predictions for the new year.

1. The Chicago Cubs will NOT win the World Series.

2. Newt Gingrich will be caught in another love triangle.

3.  Mitt will gain the Republican nomination for president and in October will announce that he is now in favor of abortion, and government job programs because polls show most Americans want those things.

4. Michele Bachmann will be barred from calling God anymore.

5. Sarah Palin will kill a bear–with a gun, that is.

6. December, 2012 Wall Street Xmas bonus payments will not exceed $200 billion. Wall Street folk will have to endure another year of poverty.

7. Jobs will boom for those willing to work for $8 an hour.

8. America will fall even further behind nations in life expectancy.

9. Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl.

10. Dominique Strauss-Kahn will be caught taking a shower with young Boy Scouts.

11. Tea Party stalwarts will be forced to drink castor oil after being defeated for their jobs in Congress.

12. Rick Perry will forget where the governor’s office is located but will be found by some good hearted unemployed folk.

13. Ron Paul will announce that henceforth he will not make use of anything built by “government.” He will walk to work to avoid using government built roads.

14. Rick Santorum will announce God told him to become a gay Muslim.

15. On June 23, 2012 not a single American will watch any TV show. The end of the world!