The Russian government just completed its mock version of a trip to Mars. Six men were locked in compartments for 354 days in order to simulate an actual trip to Mars. They could only shower once every ten days in order to conserve water. However, they were not subject to a weightless environment. We report reactions to this trip:
Michele Bachmann: Where is this place called Mars?
Rick Perry: Well, you can bet for sure that no damn aliens are coming into Texas.
Herman Cain: I want Americans to know that I never had sex with any Martian!
Mitt Romney: I have always supported trips to Mars except that I don’t want to spend money to go there.
Sarah Palin: Will the Martians allow me to ride around their planet selling books?
Barack Obama: I welcome Martians as my fellow brothers under a green skin.
Rick Santorum: I cherish all life, but Martians are not humans so you can kill them.
Newt Gingrich: Our Founding Fathers were dead set against Martian interactions. Read the debates on the Constitution.