I recently had an interview with my beloved congressman from the state of Missouri. Unlike some other states, those who inhabit Missouri are blessed with political leaders whose knowledge of world and American history far surpasses what is taught in liberal, Socialist institutions like Harvard or Yale.
M: Sir, President Obama blasted your presence on the House Science and Technology Committee. Care to comment?
A: There is liberal science and God science. God created this world 12,000 years ago. That is a scientific fact, if you don’t believe me, just check your Bible.
M: He inferred that you don’t know how the body of a woman functions.
A: OK, so many folk don’t agree with me that women have the capacity to prevent getting pregnant if experiencing rape. Of course, I was referring to a devout Christian woman who would keep God in her mind. That is the secret weapon to prevent pregnancy!
M: What about Jewish or Muslim women or women who are atheists?
A: Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are Jews, of course, not that I’d marry one. I think an Orthodox Jewish woman has the same ability. Now, as for those Muslim chicks, they just love producing babies to go on some sort of Jihad.
M: So, what about President Obama?
A: He should head back to his home in Africa and hang around with his ape cousins. Now, don’t get me wrong, some of my best pets are apes.