It increasingly is clear the Republican party does not have a love affair with Mitt Romney. Latest polls reveal that Herman Cain, the mouth that roars nonsense, leads Mitt in Iowa, in South Carolina and is almost tied in Florida. In a spirit of non-partisanship, we offer some alternative candidates to Republicans:

LeBron James is tall, he is black, his only thought in life is making money, and people actually like him.

Lindsay Lohan is in and out of jail, she never keeps a promise, and she is SO adorable.

Any executive from any Wall Street financial firm would offer money, an ability to lie, an ability to moan and groan and certainly an ability to keep out of jail. What better qualification than that?

Laura Bush is intelligent, she is sweet, she had nothing to do with her husband’s fiasco foreign or domestic policies, and they love her in Texas–even more than the idiot who currently is governor.

Eliot Spitzer may be a  liberal, but he knows more about hookers than the black dude in the White House, and he actually can express a sentence in the English language which is passable-even for an English teacher.

Joe Paterno is waiting in the wings. He is beloved by all, he ignores attacks on human beings whose dad is not head of a big company, he is blind to human suffering so doesn’t that qualify him automatically for the Republican nomination?