Are Swedish Men Dull And Boring?

An American woman recounted her first date in Sweden in which she discovered the easiest way to become bored in that country is to go on a date with a Swedish male. She blamed the Swedish welfare system, for some reason, as the main cause of male behavior on dates. Her initial complaint stemmed from lack of conversation on the part of Swedish males. “I asked a question. He answered. I asked another. He answered again. Not once did a question come my way.” But, this was merely the prelude to her eventual total lack of faith in dating Swedish males. “I offered to pay as I always do; a w ell-rehearsed token gesture of kindness which I expected to be dully rebuffed.” Unfortunately, the man accepted her kind offer. “How had things gone so horribly wrong?”

Marie Hagberg, a prominent Swedish guru on sex and behavior explained that a major problem for women is “you expect a guy to make the first move, but in Sweden he won’t unless he is really drunk.” To sum up, says Ms. Hagberg, “Swedes are known for being kind of dull and boring.”

I have limited to no knowledge of Swedish males or females on how they date or don’t date, but what the heck is wrong allowing a woman to pay her fair share of a bill? As to the questions, we really don’t know which questions were posed. Of course, there is always the possibility, the woman in question was boring.

  • Sapphire

    Nothing’s wrong with allowing a girl to pay for a share. It’s more the problem that Americans, Brits, and others view everything in the world through their filter. If they only took that filter off and saw how other cultures dealt with dating, life wouldn’t be so bad.

    I think Swedes in general are boring, without regards to gender or dating.

  • JP

    Well, I’m swedish. I’ve been on a few dates with american chicks. I would say the experience was just the same, except the american girls were +10-15 pounds extra. The only time I and other swedish guys wouldnt directly pay the bill would be when we are not particularly interested in the dating partner.

  • M.

    I hate it when women complain about paying their half of a bill. As a woman, I’m so much more…comfortable paying for myself, especially on a first date. On a first date, you don’t know each other that well, you don’t know if there will ever be a second date… Just pay for yourself.

  • Anonymous

    Im a swedish guy and I can tell you that we dont really have a standard dating system like the americans have. A dinner with a complete stranger just to get to know her sounds pretty damn boring if you ask me. It would be far better to do something fun like having a beer or go bowl or whatever. Also “I offered to pay as I always do; a w ell-rehearsed token gesture of kindness which I expected to be dully rebuffed.” this kind of attitude alone is most likely the reason the date went wrong.

  • abc

    In America they still have somewhat defined roles.

    Here we’re not allowed to do anything that might be considered offensive, we’re always supposed to respect women as EQUALS and that means as MEN. Then women, even our women, whine about how we “don’t pull out the chair”.

    Well fuck women.

  • karla

    I think ,before anything else, we have to realize that we are in a different country, different culture, different ways of behaving in different situations and different ways of relating among each other. So, why should I expect the person from another country will all of these differences behave and think like me? That makes me a narrow minded person.

    And to finish with, I have been living in sweden for a year now and i can say, Swedes are very nice and fun, and your life in sweden can be as fun or as dull as you make it. Don`t blame sweden or swedes, blame yourself for being narrow minded.

  • Abbie

    haha! I dated a Swedish man and he was very good at putting himself first, I dont think he meant to be rude he just did not even seem to notice when he was being selfish. But if he was as good at looking after me as he was at looking after himself, he would have been very charming!

  • Jenn

    I am dating a Swedish man and he is fun, exciting, hot and very intelligent! there are boring men everywhere in this world. It’s 2010 and women should pay for a date. He usually pays for me but I do insist every third date or so, he’d prefer I didn’t but I make good money and I am self sufficient which is really sexy! Good luck out there. Never judge anyone by the country they are from!

  • K

    I dated a Swedish guy for a couple of months and it was quit an experience. I must say that he was much different in many ways. He took pride in his appearance which made him even more attractive. He was very shy at first, but once he knew more about me he started to have a great sense of humor. The one thing I can say is that in comparison to other guys, he was more respectful. I would disagree with labeling Swedish guys as boring, because I didn’t experience that at all.

  • M

    I’m dating a Swedish guy, and he is far from being dull or boring. He’s very intellectual, out-going, fun and respectful. On top of that, We’ve been together for almost 3 months and he has always paid for me every time we ate out, hit the club or bought stuff to cook. He only let me pay when I insisted or the share was not much.

    But yeah, I agree that he, like most Swedish guys, didn’t make the first move and finds it hard to open up.

    But other than that, he’s totally awesome.

  • V

    I dated a Swedish guy and at first, it did seem like I did all the talking, all the question asking etc and it made me think he was not really that into me, or that I was boring. But as we got to know each other he opened up more and it was no longer an issue. It turned out he is quite a goofball with a great sense of humour :-) What I can say, is that I have never met a more loving, respectful man that worships the ground I walk on. I can ask him absolutely anything and if it is in his power, he will give it. We are now married.

  • johnny

    Trust me, Swedes are boring. They get defensive when you accuse them of this, but every single immigrant I know in this country (Sweden – and I’m one of them) says that on the whole they are totally boring and cold.


  • hahaha



    That statement made you look like an uneducated person. Get out if you don’t like Sweden, goto Iraq or something if you don’t like it here..

  • Paul

    I think everything you said is correct, Ms. American lady. You explained it well.

  • Heidi

    Ok…then maybe the Swedish guy I dated was an exception to the norm maybe? I dated a young man (in his early 30’s so for me at 27, he was one of the younger men I dated :) ). I met him first through a dating site then got to know him in person. He was far from boring. And didn’t even need a drink to loosen up and talk to me. And he was one of the kinkiest guys I’d ever met. A lot of English men I’ve known could have learned a lot from him. And he didn’t mind me paying my way either. Only exception was our first date. In all I’d be more than happy to date a swedish man again <3 I should be so lucky though :(

  • Lola

    Yes! I read all of thisss…… And I just made my first move thru facebook, we’ll see what happens….! ;)

  • museconfuse

    One of the first things my Swede told me was that he was boring and I thought it was a very strange way of presenting yourself. He turned out to be not that boring as he made me laugh alot. At the end of the day, I’d like to believe a lot of it has to do with chemistry as well. Oh and he offered to pay on the first date even though I was serious about getting the bill. And he has done so ever since, only relenting every once in awhile.

  • Katia

    Hey abc,

    How is life out there all alone?


  • Henrik Randerius

    Well, I´m born in Finland!
    Henrik Randerius

  • serrana

    i m Turkish nd dating swedish guy and i d say my boyfriend is a sweetiest guy i ve ever dated , he is worshipping me , treat me like a princess , but here in Shanghai i ve met his swedish friends , they are not the same , all i see so much competition going between swedish males , swedish girls are great friend and so much fun as well 


    This is the first positive comment I came across. I am about to marry a Swedish guy and a bit anxious. Thank you.

  • hy

    hey M! Im curious about which was the move that you had to make? Please enlighten us, because I dont know what I should do! We went out for a first “fika” because I asked him for some advice on local information about living in sweden, and he did it happily and paid for me. But after that he has not contacted me…. what to do?

  • Snorkfroken

    I find swedish men have a wonderful sense of humour , but i have to say they perminantly look angry which is a little intimidating , but apart from that :) they are wonderful creatures