Dear Dr. Fred:

I am a good Christian woman who loves God and America and the Republican party. I just adore Michele Bachmann who speaks the truth. But, I am confused at the anger shown this God fearing woman who is married to a God fearing man. Michele wants to save America from gays and lesbians, and a president who is born in Africa and wants to wreck our economy. Dr. Fred, what can we God loving people do to save our nation from black skinned atheists?
Virgin Mary from Minnesota

Dear Virgin Mary:

First, Virgin Mary, get on your knees and implore God to send a lightening bolt that destroys the White House and all who dwell within. We need to establish check points in our cities which identify anyone who is gay. At these check points we can halt a man who is laughing and thinks life is funny, then send him to jail where we can wipe that smile from his face. Once we allow gay people to display their gay attitudes it is the first step on the road to collapse of our wonderful nation. I agree with you, we need to elect Michele Bachmann as president. I will guarantee if she is president, no one in America will be gay again.