The government of Syria wants the world to know that it had absolutely nothing to do with the recent chemical attacks on people that killed hundreds of people. Even as he spoke, the Syrian army blasted away at rebel forces in order to make certain they reach their weekly quota of killing a thousand. Deputy Prime Minister Qadri Jamil was very clear that his government was completely suppportive of investigators. But, “we don’t want to be like Iraq, opening our territory to all sorts of investigators, going through our homes and bedrooms. We can only say that extremist forces carriedit out, linked to foreign forces, since no Syrian can do this against another Syrian.”
I trust this clearly explains the situation. President Assad, at this very moment is seeking the origin of the attack. Preliminary reports indicate that it was carried out by the Israeli Mossad. There are some unconfirmed reports that Senator John McCain dropped the chemicals from his plane. We are checking out this rumor.
Of course, it is possible that some teenagers were responsible. They may have been led by Alex Rodriguez.