Can The United States Secede From South Carolina?

During the 1830s South Carolina political leaders threatened to secede from the United States if a high tariff bill was passed. President Andrew Jackson dared them to try because he would send an army to round up the entire pack of traitors. In April, 1861, the good folk of South Carolina got their dream when they attacked Fort Sumnter and began a Civil War. These days, they have turned away from civil wars and simply wish to demonstrate they lack any sense of civility. Nikki Haley, whose parents came from India, and is trying to secure the nomination for governor, has been attacked as a “raghead” by a South Carolina State Senator who is against another “raghead” in an important government position because we already have a “raghead” in the White House. The expression, “raghead” has been used by American troops in Iraq to describe Arabs, not people from India and certainly not anyone who was born in Hawaii. After Ms. Haley reaffirmed that although she uses rags to clean, there is no Arab blood running through her veins, she confronted another Republican announced to the world that on a certain date he spent the night in bed with the attractive woman who seeks to become governor. Ms. Haley has yet to make clear whether or not she shacked up with a fellow Republican. At least, it is clear she did not bed any Socialist Democrat.

Come to think about it, she is running to replace Governor Mark Sandford who ran away to Argentine to spend a few nights with his lover while his wife and children thought he was out walking the mountains of Appalachia. Can we deduce from these events that in order to become part of the Republican party which stands for returning morality to America, one must secede from spouse and children and shack up with the nearest available person?

As a native New Yorker, I am proud that our governors do not sleep with fellow Democrats. They find prostitutes who are independent voters. Anyway, isn’t it about time we Americans told the folk in South Carolina, we are leaving you guys because we want a return to God fearing morality.