The ongoing saga as to whether men can marry men or women can marry women has moved from the halls of Congress to the publicity departments of business organizations. Chicken-Fil-A announced it was upset that its chickens were being consumed by two men who claimed to be married. Anyone who has witnessed chickens in action knows only a male chicken will have sex with a female chicken. There are reports from Chicken-Fil-A headquarters that this business will only purchase chickens who stemmed from a male-female chicken marriage.
Cheerios has decided to get into the gay story. Its leadership made clear that if one consumes Cheerios, one is supporting gay and lesbian marriages. We have an unconfirmed report that a band of chickens have been dispatched to General Mills headquarters in order to peck away at Cheerio boxes. Mitt Romney announced that Cheerios would no longer be served at any event he attends. Mitt told the media: “I will not longer cheer for Cheerios, I intend to switch to Corn Flakes and hope Iowa farmers recognize the lengths to which I will go in order to support our working farmers.”
Thank God we have at least one candidate for president who will not be distracted by unemployment figures and will remain focused on the Cheerio and Chicken battle.