Christ’s Sermon On Mount Wall Street

If Christ was a Republican, this would be the Sermon he preached on Wall Street to his beloved followers.

Blessed are the wealthy for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

Blessed are those who shoot abortionists.

Blessed are those who create the homeless for they bring new bodies into Heaven.

Blessed are the hedge fund captains of Christ’s Army of Wealth.

Blessed are the warmakers who bring new bodies into the halls of heaven.

Blessed is Glenn Beck who alone knows the straight line leading to heaven.

Blessed is Rudy Giuliani who single handedly saved Heaven from the Muslim terrorists.

Blessed are those who give turkeys to the poor on my birthday.l

Blessed is Sarah Palin who is the only one to see Heaven from her kitchen window.

Blessed are the elderly who die in order to reduce Medicare deficits.

Blessed is Michele Bachmann who is living proof that ALL are welcome in heaven even those without a brain

Blessed are those with birth certificates from the USA who alone can enter the Gates of Heaven.

Blessed is Herman Cain, the brother of Abel, who is not only dark skinned but has a white greedy heart.

Blessed is a political party with leaders named Mitch, Mitt, Mike, and Newt!

Blessed is Paul Ryan whose arrival in Heaven will finally allow us to balance the books.