Following are comments thought by these people, but they will never publicly express them.

GLEN BECK: Hitler had his Brown Shirts, but all I have are my Tea Party shirts. Oh well, in the end, the goals are the same, power, power, power.

GEORGE GLOONEY: I am a co-star with goats, I’ like my agent to explain this one.

DAVID LETTERMAN: A week without a sex scandal involving me. Hmm…

UNEMPLOYED AMERICAN: Wow, I now have health insurance, but I don’t have the money for it, let alone for the drugs.

GOVERNOR CHRISTIE: I promised the people of New Jersey lower taxes. How can I twist things so Corzine gets blamed for higher taxes. Me, I don’t have a clue how to balance the budget without higher taxes.

MIKE BLOOMBERG: A hundred million to become mayor. I guess that means it will require at least a billion to become governor.

RUDY GIULIANI: People want me to make a run for governor of New York. Do they understand how much such a run would cost me in cancelled speeches in which I pontificate about nothing?

SENATOR REID: Ok, we got the bill to the Senate. Now, exactly what was I supposed to do when it got here?

SARAH PALIN: Book tours, great photo shots of me, so why the heck should I run for public office.