COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR

Following are comments thought but never spoken.

Barney(Bush dog): It’s about time he’s picking up my poop. What do you think I have been picking up the last eight years?– It sure wasn’t roses.

Newt Gingrich: I’m a profound thinker and philosopher. Let’s get Obama for taking his wife to a play and dinner.

LeBron James: Cleveland sucks!

Prince Harry: Now that I’m in New York City maybe I should put on my Nazi uniform. After all Jews know about the Nazis.

Bobby Jindal: I’m the Republican brown hope. They tried white last year and she made a fool of herself. Give a brown man a shot.

Taliban Leader: “It distinctly says in the Koran, twenty lashes for a woman who walks next to a strange man. It’s our 2nd Amendment right.

Barbara Bush: Sometimes I think they switched babies with me and I wound up with the child of the village idiot.

Rudy Giuliani: I only made five million last year. I guess I’ll have to run for another public office.

President Karzai: I want to fight the drug lords, especially those who interfere with my brother’s drug trading.

G.I. In Afghanistan: 2015, I’ll be fighting in the hills of Pakistan