COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR

Following are comments that you will never hear reported in the media, but they most probably are being thought.

Republican Congressman: When Obama comes out for torture we will come out against it. We just can’t allow that guy to get the edge on us.

Credit Card Company: If we make a mistake we only up your percent by 5%, but if you make a mistake it is definitely a 25% hike.

NRA: We need every student and teacher to bring a gun to school, so we could end school shootings by outsiders and keep it in house.

Osama bin Laden: Without George Bush I would be stuck in a mountain in Afghanistan and no one would have heard of me. I pray for his health every night.

President Zardari of Pakistan: I just can’t seem to please the Taliban, I gave them the
Swat Valley, what else do they want? My job?

Chinese Official: I honestly thought schools could be built with sand as a base for the building.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: “If I could only terminate the state legislature, we might straighten out the mess in California.

Congresswoman Bachman: I thought Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama were the same person. They are the same color and how can anyone tell dark people apart?

Lou Dobbs: If we get rid of the illegals, I’d be glad to mow your lawn.