Following are comments that will never be heard in public.

Prime Minister Putin: I dream KGB, I think KGB, I am KGB.

Alex Rodriguez: I am a spoiled brat but my salary is $25 million per year, what’s yours?

Justice David Souter: Just think, never again listening to the mind of Clarence Thomas!

Fidel Castro: If all the hot air I have spoken to the Cuban people for fifty years was gathered it would solve our energy problem for years.

Avigdor Lieberman: I hate Arabs, I hate Arabs, I hate Arabs.

President Zardari: I just do what the military tells me. So, exactly what is the problem with the Taliban?

Hugo Chavez: Take away my oil money and I am just full of hot air.

Joe Biden: I do have a tendency just to shoot off my mouth, but I mean well.

Michael Jordan: I am the antithesis of Jackie Robinson. It’s money, money, money.

Don Rumsfeld: I was standing for over five hours yesterday and the ACLU never once tried to protect my civil rights

  • Alex

    George W. Bush: I don’t know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don’t care. It’s not that important. It’s not our priority.

    Oh, wait, he actually did say that, didn’t he.

  • Fred Stopsky