Following are comments thought but never expressed:

Member Minutemen America Defense: Show me in the 2nd Amendment where it says I can’t shoot defenseless immigrants!!

GOP Chairman Steele: We are the party of morality. Please get the spelling correct. That is– immorality.

Michael Jackson: I think I’m dead. It’s hard to tell.

Farrah Facett: At least Charlie now has one real angel.

Senator Harry Reid: I know polls show most Americans want a national health program. But medical lobbies don’t and they pay money while the best Americans can do is give me a vote.

Governor Sanford: I will not resign. That pervert Clinton had oral sex and retained his position. I always was on top so why should I resign?

Unemployed American Worker: Gee, it makes me feel wonderful that President Obama has stabilized banks.

Prime Minister Netanyahu: Once Palestinian President Abbas has halted demonstrations in Tehran, I will end West Bank settlements.

Head Of GM: OK, we have fifty billion. Now, will someone explain to me exactly what we were supposed to do with the money?

Wolf Blitzer: No one at CNN has the slightest idea what to do in Iran. I guess we will just have to blast away at Obama regardless of what he does.