We offer comments that never will be spoken in public.

Republican Senator: When I say Canadians oppose their rotten health care system, I am referring to my cousin Tom who lives in Winnepeg.

Hillary Clinton: I think I am still Secretary of State. Aren’t I?

Goldman-Sachs Executive: God in his infinite wisdom ordained Goldman Sachs to make money, money, money.

Barack Obama: If I could just get the Taliban to act as stupid as Republicans, I would have this mess cleared up in six months.

Tony Blair: I am qualified to be President of the European Union. Six months under my leadership and the EU will be fighting in Uganda.

Dick Cheney: A few more stupid comments by Joe Biden and they will cease beating up on me.

Rush Limbaugh: I’m over weight, under informed and have a radically different view of reality than a person with the IQ of 50. But, I’m wealthy and you ain’t!

Senator Sessions: You mean it doesn’t say in the Constitution that an Hispanic woman can not serve on the Supreme Court!!

Jesus Christ: “I’ve been trying for years to make contact with a human who agrees with my ideas.