Following are comments you will never hear spoken, but they are thought.

JOE WILSON I just want to know why once an African American is elected president, the economy collapses. I am not a racist, I’m just a God fearing white man out for the truth.

JOE BIDEN I get the feeling someone in Washington is making decisions but it sure ain’t me.

ROGER FEDERER Maybe that Governor Mark Sanford was right to have an Argentine girlfriend.

NRA HEAD Well, we got guns on trains, on planes, on the street when presidents are around, I guess next is protecting the 2nd Amendment rights of pre-schoolers.

SENATOR GRASSLEY I guess the Death Panel idea has been driven to an early grave, now let’s go after the abortion money.

OBAMA Poor Jimmy Carter speaks the truth, but I can’t back him up because I’m an African American.

BENJAMIN NETANYAHU I want peace in the Middle East. A piece of the West Bank, a piece of Jerusalem, a piece…

GEORGE BROWN Tony Blair converted to Catholicism, left being a prime minister and is raking in millions. So, what next for me– dump this job and go for the dough?

TEACHER I am forced by Obama’s Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to be accountable for the success of my students, but Wall Street bankers who robbed Americans of billions receive billions for their thievery!