Following are comments thought but never spoken.

Joe Biden: “Great, I got through the month without shooting off my mouth.

George Tiller: Yes, I’m dead. Isn’t it ironic that those who believe in the sanctity of life murder in the name of God and life?

Bill Clinton: I bet within a year Barack Obama is going to wish he had a sex scandal to divert attention of the Republican right.

Prime Minister Netanyahu: Yes, I do have a peace plan. Israel will take the major piece of the West Bank and Palestine can have the crumbs.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia: The clerics say movies are immoral. Gee, sometimes I wish I was king of Israel, then I could watch movies, eat popcorn and have a whiskey.

Tiger Woods: Tigers have a difficult time hitting little balls in the rain.

Ron Paul: First, that war monger Abraham Lincoln started the Civil War, now that war monger Barack Obama wants to get into the Afghanistan civil war.

Wolf Blitzer: How can CNN find those nutty people they always interview on Fox News?

NRA President: Are you saying I don’t have a 2nd Amendment Right to bring my assault rifle into a bank? What if it is robbed?

American Catholic: Pope Benedict XVI would be the perfect pope for the sixteenth century. Too bad, we are in the 21st century.