Following are comments thought by individuals but never spoken in public.

RUDY GIULIANI: God, imagine if was elected and had to deal with that economic stuff. Oh well, somehow I would have worked saving New York into something.

MCDONALD’S EXECUTIVE: I got it, we will be the only Kosher fast food place in the world. Blintzes for breakfast served by rabbis.

HILLARY CLINTON: The bad news is I lost the race for the presidency. The good news is I lost.

AL QAEDA SUICIDE BOMBER: I wonder how many people I have to kill to get a place in heaven with unveiled virgins.

REAL ESTATE AGENT: Mom said open a beauty salon but all I could see was the beauty of all that money with rising housing prices.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: What can we dig up about the Obama girls–drugs, sex, incest? What do you think I pay you sleaze bags for?

LOU DOBBS: I am an independent. I independently reach these ridiculous conclusions about immigrants and economics.

GOD: OK, even God can make a mistake by creating these humans!

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT: Go South young man, south!

ARNE DUNCAN: As Secretary of Education I want teachers held accountable, not the president or me.