Commie Dog Lovers In Missouri

I enjoyed the Jon Stewart show about the great fight which has torn asunder we people in Missouri. Some damn Commie Socialist Liberal animal lovers are all upset because puppies in dog shelters do not get enough exercise. From what I could see by looking at the obese SOCIALISTS handing out leaflets wherever I went the past few months, lovers of dogs who want them to get more exercise ought to look in the mirror and get their fat butt off the chair. Frankly, I hate dogs. I hate cats. I hate all animals–and most human ones, too. One day I was leaving a mall when this obese damn liberal halted me and went into a song and dance about the poor little puppies. From where I stand, the only good puppies are dead ones. Please don’t get me wrong, I am an equal opportunity bigot when it comes to dogs. I was raised on the streets of the Bronx where wild packs of dogs roamed the streets and on more than one occasion I had to run for my life.

Anyway, I thought Jon Stewart sounded a lot like them damn COMMUNISTS AND SOCIALISTS who are trying to provide us good medical care. I mean, where does he get off saying dog owners who starve puppies must give them good treatment. Just remember, first they gave puppies free food, then they gave the homeless free food and homes, and finally they made billionaires pay at a SOCIALIST 39% tax rate instead of the free enterprise 35% rate. I just can’t stand the thought of millionaires leading a dog’s life trapped in their penthouse apartment.