Christine O’Donnell, candidate of the Tea Party in Delaware’s Republican primary, easily won over her moderate Republican opponent and once again demonstrated the far right believes they are on the right side of God. Ordinarily, those running for public office such as the US Senate offer ideas dealing with foreign affairs or domestic issues, but Christine has an unusual approach to the world of politics. She made clear, if elected, a primary goal for her in the US Senate would be persuading those in that branch of government to cease wasting their time on minor issues such as jobs or health care or relief for business enterprises. No, Christine is clear the number one issue confronting America is –MASTURBATION!! Failure to let go of one’s primary needs not only results in an unfortunate fascination with the body, but it results in loss of soul. Has anyone heard of God engaging in masturbation? Granted, masturbation is a hands-on occupation, but can lead to reducing our baby needs. Ms. O’Donnell is particularly concerned jerking off results in another version. If you are not pleasing the good woman, she may seek elsewhere for her sexual needs.
I have received unconfirmed reports that President Obama has decided to keep his hands off this topic and use his mouth to express opposing ways to deal with sexual desires.