Dear Dr. Fred:

I watched that wonderful young American girl, Bristol Palin, dance her way to the stars, but the LIBERAL panel which decides who are the best dancers rejected her because her name is PALIN. She can dance rings around those LIBERAL judges. Fred, isn’t this another example of how LIBERAL JUDGES are trying to take over the lives of decent God Fearing Americans? And, they even have foreign people on those panels. How can an American dancer get equal treatment if LIBERALS and FOREIGNERS interfere with the American way of life?
Patriot Pat Pain

Dear Patriot Pat Pain:

When you say, Bristol, it is like dancing with the stars. That girl has the grace of a cougar, the strength of a Grizzly bear, and she can dance up steps with the speed of salmon going up stream. The only thing she can’t dance away from is the name–PALIN. Let’s be honest, other dancers pale by comparison to the one and only Bristol Palin. Patriot Pat, I regret to say, this nation is under the control of foreign Socialist liberal Communists who want to destroy America. First, they prevent the best American dancer from winning, next they will have illegal foreign immigrant dancers take over dancing. Vote for the Tea Party and restore American dancing to patriotic American dancers.

Patriot Pat Pain, keep on taping away for America, even though at times it gets painful to watch those Socialists rob Americans of their rights!