Dear Dr. Fred:

A few years back I was in a flop house and this guy named Charlie Sheen slept next to me. He seemed like a nice decent family man, but the Jewish media and TV producers are really out to get him. How can Americans who like Charlie show support for a guy who is being persecuted? After all, what’s so bad about howling anger?
Pete the Persecuted

Dear Pete:

Charlie’s main problem is that he understands women only all too well. He also understands that our media is controlled by Jewish people who want to squash anyone who speaks the truth from speaking, First of all, Charlie is an equal opportunity screw artist who will make out with any woman regardless of her ethnic, racial or sex gender background. He knows when a slut is a slut and that honesty gets him in trouble. From what my research reveals, Jews are angry because Charlie knows how to make out with women and they don’t!

Just remember, Pete, that Dr. Fred knows all about conspiracies.