Reports from the new nation of South Sudan reveal death and destruction as the Nuer tribe sent troops firing and attacking the Murle tribe. Initial figures indicate about 2,300 women and children are dead and nearly a thousand men. There are at least 1,000 children missing. This intrepid reporter asked prominent American political leaders for a reaction to this massacre of the innocent.
George Bush: “The key thing is whether there are WMD in South Sudan that pose a threat to the security of America.”
Michele Bachmann: “South Sudan? Is that near New Orleans?”
Herman Cain: “I wonder if anyone there would be interested in a fabulous pizza deal.”
Ron Santorum: “I urge those unfortunate people to pray to God”
Mitt Romney: “America sends its condolences to all who are persecuted. I will inform Mormon headquarters so they can send some missionaries.”
Newt Gingrich: “If South Sudan leaders would contact me, I have some interesting ideas that might help them and my organization offers a beginning of year discount.”
Barack Obama: “We are leaving troubled areas, not going in.”