We would like you to imagine a meeting that never took place, but, then again, even the most improbable meetings can actually take place. In this meeting, the prime minister of Italy is attempting to figure out a way of restoring his public image after several months of non-stop stories and pictures of him in association with young ladies.
N Boss, we have to do something to get your image back on the front pages of your own newspapers in which there is no accompanying photo of a busty woman.
S I agree, we have to do something. Any suggestions?
B Well, boss, I have been thinking about this problem. If we could only have you come across as a guy who needs sympathy.
N How about we arrange that you dive into pool and save a little girl? That should get sympathy.
B No, we don’t want any stories with the Boss and little girls. Just imagine, some newspaper in Spain will try proving he had seduced the little girl, thrown her into the pool and then decided he had gone too far.
F Look, I’m just a visitor from a Newark, New Jersey newspaper, but you guys got it wrong. You want the Boss to be an object of sympathy because someone attacked a defenseless old man.
S I like your idea. Give us more.
F I can arrange with some friends back in Jersey that we get some screwball to attack you by surprise. No one likes people getting hit by surprise. You will become the object of great sympathy.
S I like it. Let’s get this rolling.
Youtube films now show the prime minster immediately after the alleged attack by a supposed “deranged” man covering part of his lower face with a black plastic bag and keeping it there. No blood is shown. Later, when he emerges from the car a few minutes later with a bloody face a deep wound beneath his eye appears which is not seen in the original photo.
You figure it out.