Dog Murdered For Chewing Bible

Ms. Miriam Smith was sitting in the garden sipping a mint julep when she noticed that her nephew’s pit bull was chewing on something. She walked over, let out a shriek of horror and grabbed the dog. The pit bull had chewed a piece from her Bible. Overhead, she heard the sound of God expressing his displeasure at what had just happened to his words of wisdom–being chewed to pieces by a pit bull. Ms. Smith grabbed an electric cord, put it around the neck of the dog, picked him up, threw the cord over a branch and pulled on it until the dog hung upside down. Within a few moments the dog was dead and once again Christianity had triumphed over the Devil. For some reason the police arrived on the scene and arrested this agent of Christianity.

We asked several leading Republicans who believe in God, prayer and the American way of life to comment on this story.

Glenn Beck: I am not surprised at this pit bull committing a desecration of the Lord’s words. I have drawn a series of lines from Democratic headquarters in Washington D.C. to this house in Columbia, South Carolina. It is clear to anyone this is another liberal attack on Christianity and thank God we had Ms. Smith on the scene to defend our Lord. l

Sarah Palin: This once again proves that we moms are the ones who will save America from atheistic Communist liberals who unleash dogs to desecrate our Lord’s words. God bless the state of South Carolina. P.S. I am available to speak at any gathering to honor Ms. Smith. I will reduce,u my normal $100,000 fee by 50%!

Senator Jim Demint: Liberals attempt to blame we God loving Christians for violence. This situation is a vivid example of a pit bull that was a member of the Democratic party assaulting our Lord. Thank God for Ms. Smith