I am so, so excited by the upcoming marriage between William and sweet Kate, but recent events raise concern about possible implications stemming from this marriage. There are unconfirmed reports that Donald Duck Trump is dispatching a horde of detectives to inquire into the status of Kate. Donald has already forced this man who calls himself, Barack Obama, to admit there WERE issues related to his birth as Donald has been claiming for weeks. After this great triumph for truth and justice in America, Donald has decided to take his campaign to England. He believes it is only fitting that the man who single handedly forced public discussion about the so-called birth of this “Barack Obama” in Hawaii is now ready to clear up the mess in England.
1. Donald wants the birth certificates of both this guy, named, William, and this woman named, Kate.
2. He insists prior to any marriage this woman who calls herself, Kate, must produce a notarized statement that she is a virgin. After all, can Donald allow the British crown to be sullied by a tainted woman.
3. Donald wants a list of men Kate has dated, included any with whom she slept. Donald will have these names checked out against the FBI list of terrorists. We can not allow a future monarch of England to be married to a secret terrorist, can we?
4. Donald understand his prowess as a lover and is willing to share the juices of his body with this woman called Kate in order to assure William that he is getting the real McCoy when it comes to sex with Kate.
Donald just saved America from having a foreigner as our president and he is now ready to save dear old England. God Bless Donald Duck Trump!!