Don’t Flirt With Certain Girls

I was raised on the streets of New York City in a neighborhood which was located in the slums. The number one lesson of life I learned was never, never, to wise off or flirt with a girl whose boy friend could beat the hell out of me. Ivan Agatanov, a nineteen year old idiot, flirted with a girl, and when she spurned his advances, Ivan the big mouth, insulted her. Alas for Ivan, her boy friend, Rasual Mirzayev, was a champion in four martial arts, and he proceeded to give the not-too-bright Ivan a blow to the head that sent him off to sleep forever in the hereafter.

The death of a football fan at the hands of a Muslim martial arts champion was too much for Russian ultra-nationalists. They are uniting to fight the new enemy-Muslims who defend their girl friends against unwarranted approaches. Police fear new outbreaks of violence in which many will be injured.

Please, learn the lessons we were taught many years ago. Keep your mouth shut when interacting with a girl whose boy friend is a gangster or who can beat the hell out of you.

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